I begin my life anew
by Mr. Most
Summary: With her past behind her in the destruction of the Chaos, Lightning ventures to the new world. What awaits her on this alien planet and what new journey will be in store? *Alternate endings *Rated T for slight swearing **I own New World and OCs
1. Prologue

_**I begin my life anew  
**_

**Prologue**

* * *

Serah had begun to fade from my sights, along with the others as I passed through to the new world. The fight was finally over... Everything I had to accomplish was completed and now I would be rewarded with a new beginning, a fresh start. I closed my eyes lightly just thinking of the new world and its beauties... I cracked my eyes open a touch just to have one last glance at Serah and Snow with the others, for we might be separated when we arrive but something stirred in the darkness that made my eyelids snap open. A set of armored fingers extended out of the clouded darkness and towards the others the further I became from them.

"What is that?" I shouted feeling the sudden instinct that my victory of defeating Bhunivelze was short lived. The group of people who I had come to accept as friends jerked their heads to the figure that reached out to them. The figure leaned closer to the others, exposing a face unlike Bhunivelze's, a more feminine face appeared from the darkness with a grim smirk and piercing silver eyes and didn't pay any mind to the panic that it had brought out in the others just under her nose.

With another hand emerging from the darkness, the figure placed her index finger over her glossy lips, as if to silence them. "There is nothing to fear..." She assured them nudging them all forward... They all fell from that slight nudge, they reached up screaming out in horror of the height of which they were forced to fall from. I reached out to them but they were farther away from where I floated in the air.

The echo of their voices faded after a moment, it was hard to take in such a sight... The cold grasp of this figure's hand sent chills up my spine, she neared me to her face and gave a soft smile. "I thank you for service as _savior_, now the chaos will no longer harm innocent souls with its madness." I tried to free myself from her grasp but it was pointless to try and escape. "In return for your service, we grant you a world in which you have fought for, but it is not a new world as Bhunivelze had promised." She said.

I stopped at that last sentence. "What do you mean not a new world?"

"We grant you a world already inhabited by a race of people, a world full of pleasure and love." Her voice was so mellow. "The inhabitants already know of your services and sacrifices, they await your presence down below..."

"How do they already know, why aren't we all being reborn?"

The figure ignored my question, "I wish you farewell for now young soul, go on, and enjoy this world." She moved me over the abyss of darkness, I panicked at the infinite height.

"Wait-" I shouted, pausing the further movement of the armored hand. I opened my mouth to speak but the only words that came out were, "What is the name of this new world?"

"Fundonia." She replied. "I bid you farewell." Her hand released me and like Serah and the others I fell into the depths of the darkness...

* * *

The prodding of my shoulder, stirred me from my state of unconsciousness. My sight was blurred, but I could fairly see petals of various flowers that stood around. Slowly I sat upward, rubbing my eyes to clear my foggy vision.

"Lightning," A familiar voice said softly. I looked to the person, and to my surprise, there stood Serah with a warm smile. "I'm so glad you're awake, get up we have so much to explore." She said tugging at my arm.

Still trying to comprehend the situation I realized Serah was pulling me from the bed of flowers. "So this is the new world?"

"Yep, it's called Fundonia." She said as she walked towards the dirt road. "I can't wait to see what this world has in store for us!"

Without having the same mindset as Serah, I began to ask, "Where's Snow and the others?"

"Snow?" She said. "He's waiting for us by the house."

"House?" I asked. "How long was I out?"

"You just arrived last night, but it's been a few months since Snow and I have been here." She said.

"Months?" I said in surprise.

"I've already gotten to see some of this world, and there's so much I've learned!" Her voice ridden with excitement. "There's so much for you to know too Light."

"Like what?"

"I'll explain later, but first we have to meet Snow!"

This reunion was something I never expected, not in the long run. I expected all of us to be separated among such a vast world, but somehow, for some reason that wasn't the case. I had met up with Snow, he was still his annoying self; his team, N.O.R.A was also in this sudden reunion. One person though I couldn't believe was standing before me, with his earthy green eyes and silver parted hair was Hope... He had been a trusted ally in the past, but after the events that followed our once close friendship, it was hard to believe him when he said he was truly Hope Estheim.

Hope had told us that he was the first to arrive to Fundonia, over a century and a half ago. At first we didn't believe him, he couldn't have lived over a hundred years in a new world uninhabited by the chaos. Mr. Estheim informed us though, that even though our physical features remained the same, we carried Fundonian blood which seems to have allowed Hope to continue living for such a longer life period.

"...So Fundonian blood, since it runs throughout our bodies we'll have the life expectancy of that of the native Fundonians." He explained.

"How long do they usually live for?" Serah asked. "I doubt it could be long."

"Oh contraire, they do live pretty long lives." He replied. "At least six hundred years, three hundred if we lived back on Nova Crystallis, every year for them is two years in normal time."

At the sound of such a thing, we all widened our eyes in disbelief. "So six hundred years?" I asked. The nod of his head seemed to bring a close to the topic...

After hearing such information it made me eager to go and see what other astounding mysteries were hidden in this alien world... After all, I still had quite a lot of time on my hands to do what I wished before my time on this world would end. Some of this time would be used to find the others who were unfortunate enough to be separated from us; Fang, Vanille, Noel, and Sazh.

At first, my time wasn't spent so much on searching for them; instead this time gave me a foreign sense of freedom, which intoxicated me to its full extent. Never was I granted such a thing, never was I granted such opportunity, never have I felt so... Happy.

Sometime later, when my mind erased the aim of finding the four missing members of our group, it felt like it wasn't even necessary to find them, they had to be feeling the similar bliss we had felt. A freedom from the Fal'cie and the threat of the Chaos, it was certainly something we all fought for, it had to be, otherwise why would we fight together?

* * *

I moved to a small house in a rustic part of the world called Baruch, a few neighbors lived on the road but I never had the chance to meet them. Out in the distance a large castle towered over the hills of Baruch, it seemed to be abandoned, perhaps part of a long forgotten dynasty of the sorts.

After beginning my settlement into this new life, a man paid me a visit. The man looked to me with a grin, his lilac eyes practically gazed into my soul. His lips moved but to me his words were inaudible, he looked all so familiar, as if we had come across paths at one point in the past.

"...I am not sure if you remember, but my name is Caius Ballad."

That's when it clicked. We had met in a distant realm, a chaotic realm, inhabited by the divine goddess, Etro. We had fought, shed blood, all for different purposes. Normally, I wouldn't even continue to share the same air with such a man, the same man who controlled the chaos and brought our former world to ruins, eventually to be non-existent. Although, something had come over me and I saw something different with Caius, I wasn't sure what it was but he certainly was not his usual self.

"Might I enter your home?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.

"...Sure." I stood aside to allow him to enter. "Make yourself at home." I said with a grin, just to make it polite.

With my acceptance to his request he entered. Caius stood by the door for a moment and observed my house, prodding little knick-knacks and such as he proceeded to the living room.

"This house is not very spacious." He said.

I closed the front door and followed him. "It doesn't need to be, it's only me living here."

Caius sat on the couch and was silent, I expected him to continue asking questions but he just sat there, like I wasn't even present in the room.

"Do you want something from the kitchen?" I asked hoping to start some sort of conversation.

"...No." He replied before continuing the awkward silence. I sat on the other end of the couch and was silent with him. It took a while before he turned to me and asked, "Did you ever have feelings for another, but didn't know how to express them?"

I was surprised by his sudden question, my head didn't move to face Caius when I finally replied, "I've had feelings for another and I do express them in some sort of way to that person... Why?"

"When we were in Valhalla... I sort of had a soft spot in my heart for a woman..." He said placing his hand over his chest.

"Yeul?" I asked.

"No... You."

"Me?" My eyes widened. "You had feelings for me?"

"Indeed I did, and I still do."

"Why did you fight so hard to kill me then?"

"I wanted to stop you from trying to ruin my goal, but that goal doesn't seem to matter much now... Now that we live in a different world." He replied with a softened tone.

My eyes met the floor, as I was unable to respond to his confession. Caius moved closer to me, I felt my chest begin to tighten. "Could you give me another chance?" He asked.

I was hesitant to answer, a tight feeling in my chest made it hard to breathe, and the lump in my throat made it difficult to finally respond. Caius sat there staring at me, awaiting my answer, I could almost feel his anxiety. "S-sure, why not?" My throat became sore.

Caius smiled, "Thank you Lightning."

My relationship with Caius started out as awkward tension; we didn't talked much but after a few years, my heart made room for him to stay. I felt that this world gave me a sense of direction, like there could be no sudden surprises or change of fate. Whatever needed to be changed, I had the power to change it on my own. This world truly was filled with love and pleasure as the armored woman had said.

* * *

**A/N:** Don't forget to Review and follow the story!


	2. Fragment 1

**_I begin my life anew_**

**_Chapter 1_**

* * *

"I'm pregnant..."

Never had I thought two little words could cause my life to turn into spirals. The words at once gave new meaning and also loss; Caius, being my lover at this time, didn't give much of an expression when I delivered the news, but I could tell through his eyes he was not pleased. I didn't say much more afterwards and neither did he. I felt our connection slowly being torn apart with each hour of silence. Like Caius, I didn't show my emotions as much but inside I felt heart broken and scared, that's when I began thinking about the child. Should I raise it, or should I be rid of it? All of these questions clouded my head and soon it began to ache, that's when I decided to go to bed. I didn't sleep like I wanted to, I just lied there in the darkness and listened to Caius mummble to himself in the other room. I remember looking at the clock, around ten at night, I heard the front door open and near slam shut. I knew by then, our relationship was over. I cried myself to sleep that night... All of that pressure thrown at me all at once put me in a place of uncertainty and fear.

The next day was as rough as the night before, I was so broken up from Caius leaving I could barely have the will to do anything, the worse of it all was this child that grew inside of me... Was it worth keeping around, even after all of this? I knew that Caius would not return even if I did make the choice to be rid of this child but the responcibility of caring for a child... Was I ready for such a thing? I debated with myself over the subject for several days until I finally decided to make the call and tell my sister the news.

I was nervous telling my sister, just as I was telling Caius. I remembered waiting with the phone next to my ear hearing the busy signal buzz for a few seconds until she picked up.

"Hello, Lightning?" My sister's calm voice greeted.

"Serah..." I trailed off her name without realizing it.

"Lightning, is there something wrong?" Her voice began showing a sudden concern for my well being.

The words were hanging off the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't tell her... For some reason I was afraid of being judged, and being judged is usually the thing I care less for.

"Light?" Serah called my name again. "Light, do we have to come over?"

Without thinking the words just slipped off my tongue. "Serah, I'm pregnant."

"Oh Lightning, that's great news!" Serah said so happily. I smiled for a second hearing the bliss in her voice. "You should be happy sis!"

It was hard to respond to that, since I still haven't made my choice on keeping it or not. "Yeah it's good news."

"So how far along are you?"

"I'm not sure," I paused a second to think. "Around four weeks?"

"That's a month, so that's eight more months to go!" I could hear she could barely contain her excitement. "Light I'm so excited I'm going to be an aunt!"

I seemed a little less excited to be a mother... "I bet you are."

"Lightning, you sound upset." Serah sounded concerned once again. "Is it about the baby?"

I didn't answer for a while, I was still debating about it. I was unsure if I should continue with the pregnancy just because Serah wanted it. I proceeded to talk about it. "Serah, I don't know if I should keep it or not."

"Well sis, I can't tell you to keep it if you really don't want to."

"No but," I felt tears in my eyes. "I want to have it but at the same time I'm just not ready for it."

Serah stopped for a minute and I waited for her response. "Sis, why don't you wait a few months and if you decide you really don't want it then we'll figure out what to do then."

"Alright..." I said a bit uneasy. "Wait, before we hang up I just wanted you to know that me and Caius aren't in relation anymore..."

"Oh sis, I'm so sorry..."

I didn't further the discussion more than by saying farewell, then I hung up the phone. I just sat in my room for the rest of the day, I didn't want to be bothered with anything else at the time. I kept my hands over my stomach and at times I would put pressure on it, and at times I would refrain myself from putting too much, I didn't know why I was doing it but the urge was there.


	3. Fragment 2

_**I begin my life anew**_

_**Chapter 2**_

* * *

A few weeks after discovering my pregnancy, Serah gave me a call saying she was stopping by my house, of course I allowed her to visit for a while. When she arrived she didn't hesitate to rush to me with open arms, it made me smile to hug her back.

"So sis, are you showing?" Serah asked me after I released her from my arms. Just what I wanted to be reminded of, a burden.

"Not that I know of."

Serah pulled up my shirt a little and felt the undersized bump on my stomach. I quickly pulled it down. "It's nothing to look at, there's barely even anything there."

Serah gave me a quick look and began to walk towards the kitchen. "Lightning, I wanted to let you know that next month I scheduled you an appointment for an ultrasound." Serah sat down at the kitchen table.

I sat across from her. I sighed at the news, it wasn't very interesting to me.

Serah began going on and on about what she had been doing with herself lately. After a while of what seemed to be endless babbling, I began to nod off and eventually fall asleep with my arm supporting my head.

I dreamt of my home and the sounds of a child's laughter echoing throughout the house. I followed the laughter to my room only to see a small child sitting next to my bed, hiding under a blanket as if it were playing a game with me. As I reached in to pull off the blanket, I began to snap back into reality...

"Lightning!" Serah called, shaking me till I responded. When I finally came to, Serah looked displeased that I had fallen asleep while she was talking.

"I'm sorry Serah," I said before a yawn. "I couldn't help myself."

"Light, you look really exhausted." Serah said lifting my head up after I began to nod off again. "Maybe you should go rest in your bed."

"Nonsense, I'm fine." I yawned going over to the sink. "I'll just make some coffee-"

Serah stopped me when I grabbed the coffee pot. "You can't have coffee."

I looked at her oddly for a second. "Why not?"

"It'll hurt the baby," She took the coffee pot from me. "So, no coffee, caffeine, none of that."

"I guess you don't give me a choice, then to go to my bed." I said a little irritated.

Serah smiled and followed me to my room. I sat on my bed and lied on my side, it was the only way to get comfortable. Serah sat on the edge of the bed, next to me; she placed her hand on my shoulder and smiled. I smiled back, but I didn't really mean to smile.

"So Light," Serah caught my attention. "When we go to get your ultrasound next month, are you planning on finding out what the baby's gender is?"

"I'm not sure, perhaps not." I said hugging my pillow. "Like I said, I'm not sure if I'm even keeping it."

From those words, I saw Serah's smile disappear as she turned her eyes towards the floor. "Well, get some rest..." Serah sounded so depressed as she stood up and left the room, at the same time I to began to feel a sense of sadness... Perhaps it was just the hormones.


	4. Fragment 3

_**I begin my life anew**_

_**Chapter 3**_

* * *

A month after that awkward meeting with Serah, she and Snow brought me to that appointment with the ultrasonographer, I wasn't really up for it but Serah begged me to go. I didn't want to get caught up in her whining so I didn't start rejecting their offer to drive me there. On our way to the office, Serah couldn't keep her hands off my stomach, it made me uncomfortable but I just wasn't in the mood to reject her. When we arrived at the office, the room we had to wait in was filled with so many other women... This meant we had to wait longer than what I was expecting, today was going to be a long day.

When I sat down I was handed a clipboard with papers that needed to be filled out, Serah sat next to me smiling and I smirked in response. Snow sat on the opposite side of Serah, reading one of the maternal magazines, he seemed so focused in whatever he was reading. Watching Snow become so focused on the magazine, I didn't realize the young boy looking up at me from under the clipboard until one of the nurses came by to retrieve the board.

The boy smiled at me, out of kind gesture I smiled back. "Hello there." I greeted him.

"Hi pink haired lady!" He responded in between giggles.

"Where's your mother?"

"She's in the other room over there." He pointed to the large double doors next to the front desk. "She told me to wait out here, until she comes back."

That's when a foreign sense struck me, I felt like I needed to protect this boy until his mother returned. The feeling tightened up in my chest and remained in a knot. "Do you want me to wait with you until she returns?" I finally spoke.

The boy's face expressed an overwhelming feeling of happiness as his smile stretched from ear to ear. "Yes miss." He said bashfully.

I couldn't help myself but to continue smiling back, "So what is your name?" I asked.

"Raphael is my name." The boy said. "What is your name, miss?"

"My name is... Claire." The knot in my heart at that moment tightened and then released into a warm feeling.

"Are you having a baby too, Claire?" Raphael asked.

"Yes, I am." For once, when I admitted to be carrying a child I didn't regret the words that slipped through my lips... I was happy about it.

"Are you having a boy or a girl?"

I chuckled, "I don't know yet."

"Raphael!" A woman's voice called. I looked up to see Raphael's mother, who looked further along in her pregnancy than I was. The boy ran to his mother and hugged her legs. Raphael's mother approached me with a kind smile, "Thank you for waiting here with him, I hope he wasn't much trouble."

"No at all, in fact he brought my spirits up today."

"That's good," She held her son's hand. "I'm sorry to cut it short, but I have other things to do." She proceeded to the exit. "Perhaps we'll meet up somewhere at another time." I nodded with a grin as they left.

I turned to Serah who gave a smirk, "I saw you," she said. "Acting all motherly to that little boy."

"What did you want me to do?" I asked. "Tell him to get lost?"

"No, but you didn't have to act the way you did."

"What way is that?"

"You opened up to him, like a mother would." She said. "You asked him for his name, you used your _real_ name introducing yourself, you laughed."

"Alright, your point?"

"You've been acting lately like you're not good enough to be a mother, Light." She turned her whole body towards me. "From what I just saw, you looked more than capable." I sat there staring at the floor, unable to respond to my sister.

"_Claire Farron_?" The nurse called.

I stood up and looked at Serah, "Are you coming?" Serah nodded and turned to Snow, "Are you coming too?" Snow lost focus in the magazine, "Oh, ugh... Yeah." He stood up with Serah and we followed the nurse.

The nurse led us to a small room with the obstetrician already there, she stood to greet us, she looked at her clipboard for a moment. "Which one of you is, Claire?" Serah pointed to me.

The obstetrician held her hand out, "I'm doctor Cassey." Her face expressed a warm smile as I took her hand and shook it lightly. "Claire, lie down and unbutton your jacket and we'll look at your baby." The obstetrician sat back down in her chair and waited for me. I sat on the bed next to her, hearing the paper sheet crinkle as I finally lied down. I unbuttoned my jacket and revealed the small bump. I felt cold on my stomach, then an image popped up on the screen...My heart jumped at the sight of the little child who lived inside of me, I felt a warm feeling accumulate in my chest seeing it make movement. I smiled at the presence of such a precious thing, for it filled me with joy.

I realized though, after a while, I put my life out on the line as a law enforcement officer... What if something were to happen to me while on the line of duty and this child suddenly became motherless? Serah and I remember the loss of our mother years ago, the years we spent without parental guidance left us to fend for ourselves, leaving each day a struggle. I would not want my child to feel the same pain as I had... The doubts of keeping this child had returned once more.


	5. Fragment 4

_**I begin my life anew**_

_**Chapter 4**_

"The end draws near Claire." My sister had said to me one day in my sixth month of pregnancy. "Did you make a decision about the baby?"

While standing by the sink, washing dishes, I let out an inaudible sigh before I stopped to turn the faucet off. "I've been thinking lately..." I paused to turn to her. "I was thinking, you and Snow could raise it?"

Serah looked at me with a shine in her eyes, she placed her hand over her heart as if trying to stop an up coming feeling. "Sis, are you sure about that?"

"I'm sure," I barely showed emotion, when on the inside I was still in denial about making such a decision. "I would know that in your care, the child would be safe."

Serah walked towards me, I could see her tears begin to fill up in her eyes. "Claire, I'm greatful that you entrust me with your child but..." A few tears began to slide down her cheeks. "What brought you to that choice?"

"The ultrasound a few months ago..." I admitted, walking past Serah to the kitchen table to sit. I began to share similar feelings to my younger sister in regards to this conversation. "Serah, as soon as I saw it, I knew I wouldn't be able to care for it."

Serah turned her head to me, "You doubt yourself too much," She wiped away her tears. "I believe you could be a great mother, if only you stop looking at the negatives and look towards the positives."

"I've already made my choice though, I can't allow myself to let my child live through what we had to when our mother had died."

Serah looked opposite from me and crossed her arms. "That wouldn't happen," Serah wiped another tear from her face. "Our mother died because of choices she made, I know you wouldn't make those choices." She turned her body to me. "That's why I always tell you, that you will be a good parent, you practically raised me and I turned out fine."

"I'm not afraid of bad choices, I'm afraid of what might happen to me when I return back to work." I forced myself not to produce tears, "I'm afraid of going to work one day and not returning home, I don't want my child to go through the hardship and devastation we went through-" That was when I had lost control of my emotions, thinking of those years was always painful, never was it easy to forget the heartbreak of my parent's deaths. I couldn't dare leave this world, knowing my child would one day feel as I do.

"Sis, don't cry..." Serah pulled me to her and wrapped her arms around me. I cried on her shoulder for Etro knows how long, and for that amount of time I released years worth of bottled up feelings.

The existence of this conversation eventually had to come to an end, Hope would be visiting soon and I did not want to revisit the depressing memories at the time of his arrival.


	6. Fragment 5

_**I begin my life anew**_

_**Chapter 5**_

* * *

The next day I awoke to loud whistling, I sat there wondering what it came from, then I remembered Hope had slept over. I walked to the kitchen to see him by the coffee brewer still whistling the same tune. Hope turned his head to me and gave a smile, "Hey, good morning sleepyhead."

I rubbed my eyes and returned a smile back to him, "Happy birthday, Hope." I said with a weak voice. Hope's face continued to hold a smile, it shed some light on the dim morning that was plagued with rain and darkened clouds.

"So Light," Hope walked towards the table with his mug of coffee. "What did you get me for my birthday?" He took a sip from his mug.

I smirked at him, "I'm not telling you, you'll find out later."

Hope gave a slight chuckle, "I wish Vanille and Fang could be here to celebrate today." He let out a sigh.

I gave him a look, it was strange how a subject like that appeared out of the blue, but in a way he was right. After Fang and Vanille had been separated from us unable to be found, it felt as if we had lost family. Nothing seemed the same after that, even years later it still brings us a sense of loss even thought they still might be out there somewhere.

"I didn't ask," Hope turned to me. "How's life knowing you're going to be a mother?"

"It's definitely... Abnormal."

"I guess it's just the fact that there's a person living inside of me," I grinned. "Constantly kicking."

"How does it feel?" Hope became suddenly engrossed in what my answer would be.

"It feels," I paused for a moment to try and come up with the right words. "...Indescribable, actually."

Hope then stood up and walked over towards me, "Could I feel?"

Normally I didn't let others feel my stomach, except for Serah, I supposed though, I could give an exception for Hope, it was his birthday after all. I took his hand and guided it to where the child moved the most. Hope's face, when he had felt the movement of this child was pure fascination. I was joyful as well, every time I felt it I couldn't help but smile. I had started to become impatient with waiting. This was something new to me, it was something to hope for, something better than anything else.

That night though made believe I had hoped a little too much, it was something that couldn't be taken out of thought, no matter what direction it would follow. I remembered Hope and I returned to my house after his party, it was late and we were both tired.

"Light, I'll be back I left my phone in the car." Hope said before rushing back outside.

I didn't even get a chance to respond, by the time I turned around Hope had left. I walked to my room to change out of the tight dress I wore, I never remembered to purchase maternity clothes, probably because I barely left my house after the third month. As I was in the middle of putting my night clothes on, the front door opened and closed so softly it was a wonder how I could have heard it.

"Hope," I called. "Is that you?" I didn't get a response. I called out for him again but still no answer. I began to walk to the kitchen, cautious I was trying not to alert the intruder. As I approached the kitchen, I saw a man... A man who I thought would never return, never in my life...

He stared at me with his soul piercing eyes, "_Hello_, Lightning..." He said with a tone of anger.

"Caius..." I said practically speechless.

"Surprised, are you?" He began to walk towards me, each step he took echoed throughout the walls. I began to back up away from him, I clutched my stomach in a defensive motion. I noticed my gun blade on the table, forged to aid me in the line of duty, it had been collecting dust for months and now it was time for a reunion with a trusted ally. As Caius was nearing I snatched my blade from the table and slashed his face, he backed away just as the blade made a small wound on his cheek, at that moment his eyes were fueled with fury and like an instant I began to run the opposite direction, back towards my room.

I didn't know why I was running, I never ran from a fight before, it was as if my legs had a mind of their own and decided to flee from a threat. I couldn't run forever though, my house only had the one exit and to attempt to leave with Caius on my heels was not a choice, the only choice was to try and avoid him as much as possible before hopefully, someone, would show up.

I felt a tug on my shirt, it instantly pulled me back and I was constricted in Caius' arms."Caius," I began to yell. "Let me go!" I kicked and screamed, but it was as if nobody could hear my plea.

I elbowed Caius to loosen his grip, when the time was right I delivered a blow to his face. Caius stood back for a second in a moment of stun, I didn't have enough time to escape by the time he had his focus on me again. The taller man shoved me against the wall, a violent shock coursed throughout my body... My chest began to ache as this was certainly taking a toll on my body and harming my child in the process. I looked up with tears in my eyes, Caius looked foggy through my vision but I could still read out his devious smile as I begged for him to stop, I felt his cold fingers wrap around my throat and the floor becoming no more. I grasped his hands tightly entangled around my neck and gasped for breath while tears escaped my red eyes... Was this it? Was this how it ended for me? Unable to fight back, I felt my whole body begin to feel numb... Only one question remained in my mind...

"_Where was Hope_?"

I was weak... I felt like a failure... How could I protect a child, when I couldn't even protect myself? I couldn't hold out any longer... I felt my world begin to slip away... I looked down at Caius, his eyes red with rage, "You're life has come to an end, Warrior Goddess." He said. I agreed with him, I wasn't able to release myself from his grasp and I felt the end drawing near... I closed my eyes and waited... Waited to be held in Etro's arms.

After about a minute I felt an instant relief in my lungs, I fell to the floor gasping for air. I looked forward to see a commotion between Caius and a person who I couldn't fully recognize. I lied on the floor, with barely a thought in my mind. For a long while I wept in an agonizing pain, my whole body was in a state of shock, it seemed worse than death.

"Lightning..." I heard a voice call out. I looked up and saw Hope, he hung over me with blood trickling down his forehead. "Are you alright, Light?" I stared at him with tears continuously pouring from my eyes, I couldn't even speak, the pain was overwhelming.

When I had the chance to so, I spoke. "H-Hope..." I cried choking on my tears, "...The b-baby..." I pulled on his sleeve trying to ease my pain but it wouldn't work. My chest ached as my heart thrashed against it, my eyes stung from excessive tears but one thing that pained me the most was my child who after I had fallen from Caius' grasp, stopped moving.


	7. Fragment 6

_**I begin my life anew**_

_**Chapter 6**_

* * *

My vision was blurry when I reopened my eyes for the first time, since I last saw Hope. I looked in front of me to see a few people staring.

"Where am I?" My vision became clearer and Serah appeared.

"Sis," She said with some relief in her voice. "You're finally awake."

I couldn't remember anything after I saw Hope in my house, I rubbed my eye and looked over to see Snow. "What happened to me?"

"After you were attacked by Caius you went into a state of shock, then you went unconscious." Serah sat next to me. I didn't respond, just thinking of that night was more than enough negative feeling than I needed. "The baby is alright too." Serah said with a smile.

I looked over at her, "I'm surprised," I said. "I would think the worst could've happened to it."

"The doctor said it was a miracle that it survived after what you went through." Snow said over Serah's shoulder.

I slipped my hand over my stomach and felt the large bump still remain there, I felt relief that the child remained safe. "So when do I leave?" I asked.

"Tomorrow, but you have to be on bed rest for the next few months."

I sighed at the thought, then I looked at Serah again. "Do you see now why I asked you to raise my child as your own, Serah?" I gave a stern look.

"Sis-"

"No," I cut off her sentence. "When Caius attacked me, I was unable to protect myself, I endangered not only my life but my child's life."

Serah held her head down. "I see what you're saying Lightning..."

"...Good." I crossed my arms, and thus the conversation was ended.

* * *

Over the hours lying in a bed ordered not to move from it, I had begun to go over previous thoughts and doubts. Most of my doubt was centered around giving up my child to Serah and Snow, I tried to do as Serah had said "to think of the positives" and thinking of my child's life with happiness and free of harm was more than enough to convince me of going with my original plan. Although, I couldn't help but feel a problem that seemed to collapse on top of this plan, I wasn't quite certain as to what this problem was but it seemed to try and blow my thoughts in a jumble.

Before they left, Serah and Snow told me they weren't going to be able to take me back to Baruch when I would be released from this silent white prison, tomorrow morning. That left me with a question just as big as my decision, how was I getting home? There would be no way I could walk home on my own, especially since I am under strict order to not be on my feet all the time.

I heard a disturbance at the door of the room, and a girl who looked no older than seventeen, entered my room shouting at others outside. When she shut the door with slight force, she turned her body and looked at me with a self-conscious expression printed across her face. For a while, the girl stood there, staring.

"I think you have the wrong room." I said crossing my arms, the girl still continued to stare. I began to glare at her. "Didn't your mother ever teach you manners, such as not staring at others?" That seemed to break the girl from her trance, she turned away embarrassed.

"I believe you have the wrong room." I said once again, hoping she would leave.

The girl looked at me again with her mauve eyes, as if in disbelief of what she saw. "I'm s-sorry!" She stuttered with a sheepish look. "It's just that, you remind me of someone, I apologize if I made you uncomfortable." She bowed with a certain respect. When she stood back up, I noticed a flaw on her face... A scar that laid upon her right eye, for some reason I felt curious as to how she received such a deep cut on such a sensitive part of her face. I didn't think twice before asking, "How did you receive that scar?"

The girl's face turned from awkwardness to a dull expression as she felt the wrinkled line that flawed her complexion. "If you must know such a tale, perhaps I will share it to you another time..." I noticed her whole attitude seemed to change just from the mention of her scar.

"I would like to talk about it now, if you don't mind me." I said with a calm tone of voice with my hands at the bottom of my stomach, instead of crossed. "Sit with me."

The girl looked skeptical about my proposal, but instead followed along and sat on the edge of the bed, by my feet. She seemed distant, but it didn't bother me so much. "So how did you receive that scar?"

The girl looked to the floor, "My name is Sydney, in case you were ever going to ask." She said with much displeasure.

"I apologize, my name is Lightning." Sydney suddenly jerked her head towards me, and squinted her eyes as me in a sort of anger. I looked back at her becoming fearful of the anger that seemed to linger in her eyes, like Caius' eyes they were, just glancing into my soul...

"I remember you now..." She growled. "Perhaps you should be telling the story of how I received the scar, instead of myself."

I stared back puzzled of what she meant; I never recalled seeing her before. "You're crazy, I've never seen you before in my life!" I said getting frightened at this point.

Sydney leaned in closer to my face. "Perhaps this will jog your memory," Our noses practically touched when she stopped leaning in. "How about now soldier, does it look like I'm fucking daft now you lil' shit?" She shouted loud as a lieutenant would in the Guardian Core.

I shoved her back to give myself some space, "You a nut that's what you what you are!"

Sydney stood up and moved her blond bangs away from her right eye, "I got this scar because you wanted to show yourself off," she scolded. "That accident at the academy six years ago, you wanted to prove how tough you were because I fucking didn't give you what you wanted, so you acted like a showoff to try and _prove _some sort of point."

Those memories seem to hit me like her attitude on that day. "You disobeyed orders and you spit at me, if you weren't up to get your ass kicked you shouldn't have joined in the first place!"

Sydney, teeming with rage picked up the chair Snow had been sitting on earlier and threw it across the room, creating a large dent in the wall. "I didn't have a choice!" She returned her focus on me; her eyes were lit with fire as she growled with pure fury. It seemed like a jolt of lightning when she grabbed the collar of my hospital dress, I saw the fight between me and Caius all over again, like an instant I began to cry and beg for her mercy. I felt so weak begging a younger person than me for mercy, _what had I become?_

I looked up at Sydney, her eyes were her normal mauve color and they looked sorrowful in a sense, she released her clutched fist from my dress and backed away to the door and slid down to the floor. Her face showed much shame; she looked regretful of her actions. "I'm sorry..." She trailed off her words. "I tend to lose my cool sometimes, I did not mean for it to go that far." Her face was buried in her hands as she wiped her it of falling tears.

I wiped my eyes of tears, "No, I apologize; I should never had brought up such a sensitive subject." I said, trying to sit on the edge of the bed. "My curiosity got the better of me." I stood up and walked over to the teen; I knelt down to her level and comforted her.

"Lightning, I sorry if I caused you distress with my actions..." Sydney moved closer to me and rested her head on my shoulder. "I just hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me and my horrible temper."

At first I had a sort of sympathy for the girl, I can remember a few times when I reacted that way, but to me it seemed she lacked common sense which is why she over reacted in the first place. With that, I turned my head away, "I cannot forgive you, I would expect you to be more civilized than that." I stood back up on my feet and walked back over to my bed.

"I understand..." Sydney said wiping her nose; she continued to sit on the floor. "I wouldn't forgive myself either." She stood up and turned to face the door. "I give my apologies to you and your unborn child." Sydney opened the door and left.

I sat there and softly caressed my stomach, it felt as if the youngling inside was telling me that I had made some sort of fault. I looked to the small slit of the glass paine in the door and noticed a couple of people gathering around the corner of it, I could tell Sydney was there still feeling regret. Perhaps I did make a fault of some sort, but I knew that forgiving Sydney would not help her, a child with such a violent and reckless past with little or no discipline from older authorities is what caused to her become the woman she is today. I assumed I could try to shape her better, making her feel regret with no apology to relieve such a feeling was the first step.


	8. Fragment 7

_**I begin my life anew**_

_**Chapter 7**_

* * *

The day after the unexpected reunion with Sydney, I was released from the hospital. I still didn't know how I was to get home to Baruch from here, I seemed to have waited for hours outside aimlessly hoping Serah or Snow would take me home, my hopes were raised for nothing.

"You waiting for someone?" A familiar voice caught my attention. I turned to see Sydney walking up from behind me; she looked up to the sky admiring the abstract clouds and stopped at my side.

"What are you still doing here?" I asked.

"I was visiting a friend," She said optimistically with her hands behind her back, still admiring the clouds. "Are you getting picked up by somebody?"

"No," I looked up at the clouds with her. "They were suppose to but, I don't think they're showing up."

"Were you waiting for a miracle to happen or something?" She said with a slight grin. "A magic flying carpet was gonna' stop by and air lift you home?" She chuckled.

I smirked at her remark, "I wasn't but it would be nice."

Sydney glanced at me with a smile, "I can help you home." She kindly offered.

"My home is all the way in Baruch, I doubt you could."

"I have an ark," She said in a bashful sort of way. "It flies, almost like a magic carpet."

I looked over at her in disbelief. "How do you have an ark?"

"Claimed it."

I shook my head lightly and smiled, "Your ark can fly us all the way to Baruch?"

"Well no, that's the thing I left out." She admitted. "My ark is impounded because of damages I made while trying to land the damn thing..."

"Why did you bring it up then?"

"Just thought I'd start a conversation."

My smile turned back into a slight frown, "Well thanks for getting my hopes up."

"Ey, don't be like that," She turned to me. "I'll get you home safe, we don't need an ark to do it, most of the trip will be by train anyway, plus that ark would probably crash into something anyway."

I shook my head and began to walk towards the nearest train station. "Ey, where are you goin'?" Sydney called out.

"You said you were going to get me home safe," I restated her words. "Do what you do best then."

Sydney rushed up behind me as we began walking towards the station, on our way there she seemed oddly quiet, and the only words she spoke were about her flying ship but other than that she was silent.

* * *

The whole trip to Baruch contained very few words, what had gotten over Sydney was beyond me, her attitude was the complete opposite before we began our trip. Something fishy was going on with her. While we walked she would trail behind and I would have to stop and wait for her to catch up, other times she wouldn't even listen to me and stand around staring into space.

By the time we had arrived in Baruch, I was exhausted from walking and traveling that all I wanted to do was go to rest in my bed, I didn't ever care what happened to Sydney after a while.

"So Lightning," The first words from Sydney's mouth finally escaped after so many hours. "How come you don't have your spouse picking you up from places?"

"What spouse?" I asked.

"The one that impregnated you."

I bit the side of my mouth with anger, Caius was to me, less than a father figure he would have to be really freaking special to be nominated for the 'spouse' rank. "I don't like talking about him," I scowled, noticing my home in the distance. "He's scum to me."

"Oh, did he do something?" Sydney began to act like a child with her endless questions. "What did he do?"

"That is none of your business." I kept my head down.

"Well I wanna' know why he's scum," She whined. "If you want I'll tell you about scum; this guy he keeps breaking onto my ship and snatchin' up my things-" ...And thus the endless babbling began. I had tried to tone out Sydney's constant annoyance, but she produced a flow of never ending words from her mouth, her changes of mood were daunting and I could only wait and fear what the next change would be.

It was dark by the time I had returned home, I had walked more than I should have and I was tired from it. Sydney had ceased her babbling when I first entered my house, she stopped at the entrance and didn't move. I turned to her to see her stare at me with her arms stationed at her sides. "Aren't you going to enter?"

"I actually should be heading on my way now," Sydney turned away. "Perhaps I will encounter you in the future again, some day." She then proceeded to walk down the dirt road we had spent a few hours traveling on, trailing behind her I noticed, were droplets of what looked to be water falling from her fingers. I didn't stop her to ask, I didn't want to reenact the hospital room again.


	9. Fragment 8

_**I begin my life anew**_

_**Chapter 8**_

* * *

The next couple of months were calm and quiet, there was no threat of attacks, no sudden visits from people, I felt relaxed for once. I received a call from Serah one day, she wanted to take me shopping for the baby. I accepted her invite to go with her, but then she began asking a serious question.

"So sis, I was wondering if you think Billy is a good name."

"Billy?" I asked.

"Or Lauren, if it's a girl."

"Are you talking about your cats again?"

Serah paused for a moment. "No, I'm talking about the baby."

"Why are you picking out names for the baby?" I asked.

"Didn't you say you were planning on letting Snow and I raise it?"

I bit my lower lip, "Yes, I did."

"Snow and I already have the nursery set up," She said will some enthusiasm. "We were just thinking of names, and I wanted to know what you thought of the names we chose."

I was silent for a few moments, I felt uneasy about this sudden upcoming thought of names being chosen for a child, who didn't even exist in the world yet. "Sounds like you're rushing things a bit Serah."

"I'm not," She assured herself. "I'm pre-planning everything so I don't have to rush later."

"By the way you have it, it sounds like you have everything ready then."

"Yeah, now all we have to do is wait for the baby."

I huffed at her words, I still thought she was rushing things. "Light, I also have to tell you something else..." Serah said sounding serious. "I was talking with Snow, and we feel it would be better for you if you would stay by our house until the baby is born."

"Why would it be better?"

"Well, we live nearest to a hospital and in case something occurs again, like with what happened with Caius, we'll be there for you Lightning." She sounded so sincere.

I thought for a moment, "I just might have to take you up on that." After accepting my younger sister's offer I hung up the phone. At that moment I felt the child inside kicking again, I rubbed by stomach feeling it move about. "Why do you act like this when you think I do something wrong?" I asked the small being who ceased its frantic movement. "I can make my own decisions." With that remark, I yawned, feeling fatigued. I went to the living room and lied on the couch, I felt my eyes become heavy and eventually I fell asleep.

* * *

A white flash appeared after I opened my eyes, I rubbed my tired eyes before standing up, I turned to the kitchen to see a familiar figure standing by the television. The woman turned her head to me and smiled. "Well good morning, Sunshine." It was Fang, "Lookin' a bit heavy there, aren't you?" She walked over and poked at my protruding abdomen.

I ignored her comment and grinned at her presence. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I should ask you the same thing," Fang walked over to the table and sat upon it, she sounded less happy than me. "If you must know thought why I'm here, it's because of the little kid you got growing inside of you."

I gave a puzzled look at her, "How is that so?"

"The little kid was upset about something you did; Vanille and I came around to cheer it up." She shot me a glare. "You got some explaining to do, Missy."

I swallowed hard, "Explain what?"

"Kiddo in your room over there kept telling us you're abandoning it," Fang stood from the table. "Why is that?"

"I'm not abandoning it," I said. "I was giving it up to Serah and Snow, I feel like if I were to keep it I would fail to protect it, not only that but I'm scared to keep such a thing."

"How do you think the kid feels?"

I stuttered, "I-I don't know, why would it be scared?"

Fang walked over to me and placed her hand upon my shoulder. "The kid is scared because it's afraid to lose you Lightning," She said it sympathetically. "It told Vanille months ago that when you told Serah you were giving it up to her, it burst into tears because it thought you didn't have the same love for it like it did for you..."

I felt a heaviness in my chest hearing such words, "Is that why it moves whenever I talk to Serah?"

"I would believe so."

"Should I apologize and explain why I had to make that choice?" I asked her awaiting her answer.

Fang seemed a bit troubled, "I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but the kid isn't so keen on seeing you Light." She said.

"I still want to see it." I turned the opposite direction and began heading towards my bedroom.

"Lightning, I wouldn't do that, the kid is already angry at you."

I turned to Fang, "It can be as angry as it wants; I still want to tell it the truth." I proceeded in walking to the hallway. With every step nearing closer to the bedroom, the sound of laughter increased. When approaching the doorway, I was cautious not to alert Vanille or the child as they played on the floor. I leaned up against the wall hoping not be seen and began listening to them.

"So, you never did tell me your name." Vanille said as if expecting an answer.

The child looked down at the small playing blocks, "It might be Billy or Lauren."

"Those are nice names," Vanille smiled. "Did your mother think of them?"

"No," The child said quite depressingly. "Serah thought of them."

Vanille was silent and so was the child. I looked in the doorway to see them, the child was covered in a long blanket as if concealing itself. Vanille looked up and she smiled to see me, she leaned over to the child and whispered, "Look, there's your mother."

The child turned its head to me, only enough that I could see it's nose then turned back to Vanille and pouted. I stepped forward to the small child who was obviously annoyed with me. The child crawled away and buried itself in Vanille's arms, "Go away, I don't love you!" It shouted. "Protect me, Vanille!"

"Look, I just want to talk." I said approaching closer.

The child buried itself in Vanille's chest, "I don't want to talk to you, I hate you!"

Hearing that word, _hate _escape the child's mouth made me uneasy and at the same time angry. Without thinking I grabbed the child's arm that clung to Vanille's shirt and pulled its body over to face me. The child began to fuss and try to squirm its way out of my grasp but it was unsuccessful.

"Listen to me," I said in a strict voice. The kid began to scream and throw a tantrum, I shook it to try and make it stop its hysterics but the screams continuously shot from its mouth. "Stop screaming you little brat!" I shouted hoisting the child up in the air.

"Lightning let go of it!" Vanille cried, she stood up and tried to pull the small baby away but my grip was far stronger than hers. "Fang!"

The look on the baby's face, as I remembered, was out of pure terror. What caused me to act in such a way was beyond even me, the anger inside was like an inferno that destroyed all other form of emotion. The trance was broken when Fang grabbed me and slapped me back into reality. "Lightning!" Fang shouted. "What the hell's the matter with you?"

I looked back at her unable to respond, for there was no answer to why the action was committed, it just happened. The anger building up in Fang's face, reminded me too much of Sydney and Caius, it seemed as though history was constantly repeating itself.

"Perhaps it's time for you to wake up, Lightning." Fang said trying to ease herself. I looked to Vanille who held the child trying to comfort it, the baby cried and my eyes began to tear up as well.

"Perhaps you're right..." I said with a soft spoken tone. I glanced at the child in Vanille's arms and decided not to bite my tongue on this. "I'm sorry but no matter how much you may hate me for decisions I may make, I will always have a care in this world for you and it is in my heart that you are kept safe." The baby didn't look at me, but instead stopped crying. The whole world then began to fade to white.

I reopened my eyes to see the real world, a heavy feeling weighed on my chest, the stirring emotion that clouded my mind created a whole new form of doubt and fear...


	10. Fragment 9

_**I begin my life anew**_

_**Chapter 9**_

* * *

"Light, are you listening to me?" Serah called, interrupting my daydream. I turned to her to see what the matter was. "Light, you weren't listening to me were you?"

"...No, I'm sorry," I said loosening the grip on my scarf. "What were you saying?"

Serah sighed and turned her body forward, "Never mind, Claire..." Even though I was unsure of what she said, whenever she called me by my real name I could tell she was talking serious.

"Just tell me Serah-"

"I said never mind." She said sternly with her arms crossed. I sighed lightly as my head turned over to the window to see the small flakes of snow hit against it.

"Serah," I said softly and calm. My younger sister turned to me, "It's been a while since we last saw the snow." My fingers intertwined with my scarf, escaping the cold that snuck its way in through the cracks of the car doors.

Serah smiled, "It has," She leaned over my shoulder to gaze at the snow that seemed to soar like birds outside. "Remember when we use to play in it when we were younger?"

I smiled at the thought of those good times, "Yeah, I wish we could relive those moments when we were closer together."

"Hey my little back seat passengers, could we sit back and put our seat belts on, the road is kind of bumpy," Snow butted in on our moment from the driver's seat. "I wouldn't want you both to hit your heads."

"Oh Snow," Serah giggled. "You worry too much."

"I'm serious Serah, I wouldn't want Light to get hurt either you know, with her baby and all."

Serah moved over closer to me and did as Snow said, she then rested her head on my shoulder and placed her hand on my stomach. "Sweet baby..." She whispered. A slight grin came to my face as I rested my head on top of Serah's, and placed my hand on hers. "Yeah... Sweet." I whispered growing my grin to a smile. Before I knew it, we had fallen asleep in each other's arms. I didn't dream of anything, or had so much as a thought. It seemed as if time had stopped and my younger sister and I were catching up on time we had lost from our separate lives... It was so peaceful.

* * *

"Claire," I heard a disrupting call of my name, a title that seemed unrecognizable at first. "Claire, wake up!"

At the alarming call I finally awoke, I turned my head a little to see Serah, who had a slight grin on her face. "We're home Claire."

"Already?" I asked rubbing the crust from my eyes.

"Yeah, let's go inside," She proceeded to exit the car. "If you're still tired, we have a bed ready for you."

With a note of that, I followed Serah from the car. The cold breeze hit me like a ball of snow, literally. I jerked my head to the side to see Maqui and Yuj throwing snow at each other, their faces filled with fear as I glared back at them. "Oh my gosh!" Maqui cried. "I'm so sorry Lightning!" I kept my cool on this one, even though I should have scolded them, I brushed it off.

"It's alright, it was an accident." The two stood in the same spot, as if still frozen in fear. As I walked in the house they continued their war in the snow once more.

Lebreau stood by the door way to greet me, "It's been a while Light," She shot her signature smile. "Those two causin' trouble?"

"They had my attention for a moment..."

"They've been like that ever since the first inch fell," She chuckled. "They never grow up do they?"

I turned to look at the two teens at play, "They should enjoy it while it lasts, and childhood is such a precious thing that shouldn't be focused on the real things, but based on the imaginative things."

"True that," Lebreau turned to the living room. "But I think that time for me is up though." She walked further into the house, I followed.

"Welcome sis, to our humble abode!" Snow announced from the bedroom. It wonders me sometimes if he has some self control in that annoyingly thick head of his.

I began unbuttoning my coat when Serah tugged at my sleeve. "Come with me sis, I have something to show you!"

"What is it?"

"Just come on," Serah pulled me towards the door next to her bedroom, "You're gonna' love this!" She pushed the door open and revealed a room covered in white and hints of yellow.

"This is the nursery?" I asked almost in disbelief.

"Yeah," Serah smiled. "It's all set for the new arrival."

I walked in marveled by the dedication, astounded would be a word to best sum it up. "You really went all out didn't you?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Serah walked over, "I did it for you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I noticed you've been nervous about the baby..." My younger sister sat on the rocking chair near the brightly white crib. "I didn't want you to worry so much when it actually came."

I grinned, "Thanks..."

Serah smiled back, "Anything for you sis."

I yawned lightly. "You should go to sleep." Serah stood up and stopped at my side.

"Perhaps you're right..." I yawned once more. "I feel pretty exhausted."

Serah smiled and without me to notice grabbed my hand and guided me from the nursery and into her bedroom. "This is where you'll be sleeping tonight..." She paused for a split second. "..and all the other nights."

"Don't you _and_ Snow both sleep in here?"

"Yeah, but Snow doesn't mind sleeping on the couch." My younger sister walked over to her bed and sat on the edge of it.

"Are you sure he doesn't mind?" I asked feeling pity for Snow.

"Snow's the one who offered to give up his bed," She began to take her sweater off. "Ya' know, he's not as bad as you say he is Light."

"I guess he's not..." My head tilted downward a little thinking of the kind gesture of Snow, perhaps I was a little too hard on him...

"Light, aren't you going to get changed into your night clothes?"

"I think all my stuff is still in the car."

Serah stood up, "I'll go get them."

I stopped her before she passed through the doorway, "I can get them."

"Light, you can't lift up heavy things remember?"

I smirked at her, "Have you forgotten that I was a soldier?"

"No, I have not," Serah whined like a little child. "I just worry about you doing things you aren't suppose to..."

"You worry too much Serah, I can do things on my own." With that I threw my jacket over my shoulders and proceeded outside, the icy wind created chills up my spine as I ventured out into the undying blizzard. The cold bit at my nose and snapped at my fingers as I approached the rear end of the car. The bitter cold feel of the vehicle's metal had no effect on my numb fingertips as I grasped the handle of the door and released the lock that concealed my belongings.

"Hey Light, you need a hand?" A familiar voice rung in my ears, I turned my head to see Snow and Gadot.

"No, I can do this myself." I heaved at my suitcases from the trunk of the car, but they didn't budge.

"Let me help you with that," Gadot walked over and pulled my bags from the trunk without much effort. "You should ask for help next time Light."

Before I could respond back, Snow and Gabot were taking my belongings in the house. "Come on sis, you wouldn't wanna' freeze out here would you?" Snow said with a cheerful smile.

Without answering back, I followed them inside. The moment we entered the house, the cold on our bodies were stripped away by the warming sensation of the fireplace.

"Oh Claire!" Serah squealed standing by the bedroom door, rushed over to us. "You're all wet sis!"

"Well, I was outside in the snow Serah," I said with a scoff. "Snow will get anybody wet."

Serah looked at me with her face turning a bright red. "S-sis!" She squealed again.

"What?" It took me a moment to realize what she was getting all excited about, then I blushed bright red like my younger sister. "Oh, I didn't mean it that way!"

"What didn't you mean?" Snow unexpectedly joined.

"N-nothing, it's nothing!" Serah stuttered, she grabbed my arm and pulled me back to the bedroom. I quickly shut the door behind us, by now we were pretty sure everyone was wondering what was up.

Serah sat on her bed, her face scrunched up from some sort of inaudible laughter. "I can't believe you said that!"

"I can't believe it either," I cupped my face in my hands as if trying to take away the humiliation. "I didn't mean it that way!"

While Serah and I wallowed in my unexpected mistake, Snow entered the room with my bags, "Sorry to interrupt your little session, but you left without taking your suitcases." Snow placed the luggage by the bed and without another word he left.

Serah and I just stood there staring at the door without a thought in our minds, it was just long awkward silence, and then we continued our session of laughs.

Serah fell back first onto her bed. "Light, I can't even remember the last time we even laughed that hard."

"Neither can I," I went to open my bags, "When was the last time we even spent this much time together?" I threw a few pieces of clothing onto the bed.

"It had to have been before Cocoon fell."

"Hmph, it's a bit upsetting that we haven't spent quality time together in more than five hundred years." I closed my suitcases and turned towards the wall, trying to remove my sweater.

"We should spend more time together when the baby is born," Serah kicked her legs up in the air. "We could go shopping, take it to the park, and all that stuff..."

I turned to her, "I don't think I would be able to," I said with disappointment. "I have to work."

"Well don't you get maternity leave for a few months after the baby is born?" She asked.

"Yeah..."

Serah sat back up, "Then we'll spend time together in those months."

I smiled, "It sounds like a plan."

Serah smiled, "Sis," she says softly. I turned my attention to her as I put on my night clothes. "The baby comes any day now, you nervous?"

I let out a quick sigh, "Well I've been told, childbirth is one of the worst pains you could ever experience in your life..." I tried to pull my shirt over my stomach. "So to that I say, bring it on!" My sarcastic remark made my younger sister giggle.

"Light, I'm serious."

"I am kind of nervous actually," My smile dimmed. "Anything could happen during the delivery."

"I'd doubt anything bad would happen," She stood up and walked towards me. "All your doctors say the baby is healthy, and you're as healthy as a horse."

I stroked my stomach, "I guess you're right, maybe it'll just be a normal delivery..."

Serah was silent for a few moments, she removed her wedding ring from her finger and went towards the nightstand, it wasn't long until she returned with her ring dangling from a thin piece of thread. "Could we try something?"

"What is it?"

"I was reading up and I came across an article that said, if you dangle a ring above your belly while you're pregnant you can tell if it's a boy or a girl."

"I thought we were waiting it out?"

"Well I can't wait anymore," Serah squealed in excitement. "Please sis?"

I let out a long sigh, and then I saw the desperation in her eyes. "Alright, we'll try it."

"Yay," She cheered. "You're gonna' have to lie down for this."

"Don't be surprised if I fall asleep," I joked sitting on the bed. Serah chuckled; I lied down on the bed and waited for Serah to start.

"Okay, so how this works, I hold the ring above your belly and if it swings in a circle it's a boy and if it goes back and forth it's a girl." Serah held the ring above my swollen stomach and we waited... After about a minute the ring began to swing in a circular motion. "Sis, you're gonna' have a boy."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Mhm, see how it's going in a circle?" She pointed it out, and indeed it was in a circle. "Oh sis, this is exciting!"

I caressed the bump, "I hardly believe it's true though," Trying to sit up now was difficult.

"Why don't you believe?"

"I can't say for sure, but it just doesn't seem true to me." Eventually I sat upward. "I guess I don't believe in the old wives tales."

"Well we'll know for sure when that day comes." Serah yawned.

"I guess it's time for you to go to sleep?"

Serah grinned, "Yeah I guess so," She stood and walked to her bed. "I have to get up early tomorrow, I have a class to teach."

I looked to her, "Then you should go to sleep right away."

Serah hid under her blanket and was quiet for a while. "Claire," She finally spoke.

"Hm?"

"Do you think you could give us your blessing to have our own children?"

I smirked lightly, "It's not my decision to let you and Snow have children," I said. "You're married now, you don't need my blessings anymore."

"Alright, I just wanted to know." Not long after she was silent and sound asleep. For me though, it was difficult to sleep... I couldn't tell if it was from the pelvic pressure or from the fact that I might have just discovered my baby's gender. It made me uncomfortable and a little excited, it took a while to forget, hopefully I can get over it.


	11. Fragment 10

_**I begin my life anew**_

_**Chapter 10**_

* * *

The baby is late, it hasn't moved in the past ten days... I'm worried. I talked to Serah about it, she told me to stay calm and not to worry as much but it was difficult to follow. Serah kept reminding me about my birthday which was tomorrow; the thought of it made me take my mind off of the baby, but the worry still remained.

"Don't worry sis," Serah said trying to ease my feelings. "Perhaps your doctor got the due date wrong?" Lebreau and Serah sat at the kitchen table preparing food for tomorrow.

"Yeah Light," Lebreau cut in. "You're probably just getting worked up over nothing."

"Perhaps I'd be a little less worried if it actually moved; instead it just lies there..." I said slightly depressed.

Serah came closer to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder, "Don't let it get to you sis, it's probably nothing." She patted my arm before she went back to cutting vegetables. "So how's it feel knowing you're going to be twenty five?"

I moaned resting my head on the table. "It feels like I'm a year closer to death..."

Lebreau giggled, "Sound's dark my friend."

"It is..."

"Sis, don't be like that." Snow placed his hand on my shoulder. "_Lighten_ up."

I wasn't much in the mood to scold him and give him the usual response; my head remained on the table as they all talked to each other. Before I knew it Maqui and Yuj came stampeding into the house with a few of Serah's students. From all the noise they were making I was surprised neither, Serah, Snow or Lebreau told them to turn the volume down a few notches. It wasn't long till I reached my breaking point.

"Hey," I shouted causing them to all freeze in stun. "Take it outside!"

One of the children in the group smirked and stuck his tongue out at me, and then they all ran outside back in the snow. I held my head, as it was teeming with anger that I wanted to inflict on that kid.

"Those kids," Serah said, "They never grow up."

"I don't think that kid who stuck his tongue out at me will grow up anytime soon..."

Lebreau sighed, "Kids..."

"Some will just never learn..." Snow said.

I nudged his hip, "You're one of them." I joked.

Snow smiled, "Hey, I'm no kid; I just choose not to act my age sometimes."

We all laughed at his joke, "Well, I'm gonna go and shovel some pathways with Gadot," Snow pecked Serah on her cheek. "Wouldn't want anyone to fall in this stuff." Without another moment to waste he nabbed his jacket from the coat rack by the door and left.

"The things he does for others," Serah started as she disposed of vegetable skins in the trash bin. "Snow is like a role model for some of the young men here."

Lebreau laughed, "What young men?"

"Maqui and Yuj..." Serah trailed off.

"That's pretty much all there is," Lebreau chuckled. "And those two are barely men, they still act like they're ten."

"Well some things just never change I guess." As the words flew from my mouth, I was unaware of the war that was about to unfold. Like a bullet a ball of near ice and snow thrashed against my side, I jolted upward and looked to the open window to see the children from before laughing and pointing, my temper was reaching beyond its level at this point. The adrenaline overwhelmed my morals. No longer able to hold back my anger, I yearned to give them what they so deserved. Luckily for them, Serah was there to stop me.

"You kids are so lucky I'm not smacking the crap out of you right now!" I shouted feeling my face heat up from the rage. The children just continued laughing and began chanting, "Meanie Miss Farron!"

Lebreau rushed in front of me and shooed the children away and slammed the window shut. Serah made me sit down but I was more eager to hit those annoying little brats.

"Sis, calm down!" Serah raised her voice to try and get my attention; she placed a cold cloth on my face and turned to face me. "Claire, they aren't worth it, they're just little kids."

"Yeah, little kids lucky to not come in contact with my hand."

"Those little punks, they got nothing better to do than to start up trouble." Lebreau's face showed she was also aggravated. "I think they over did it when they started calling you, 'meanie miss Farron.'"

"They use to call me that before I married Snow," Serah said. "Whenever I'd scold them for doing something wrong they use to call me 'meanie miss Farron.'"

"What made them stop?" I asked.

"Well after I married Snow and took his name, they called me "meanie Ms Villiers ." Serah sighed. "They aren't very creative with their nicknames."

Gadot walked in sending a blast of cold throughout the living room. "What's with those kids outside?"

"What are you talking about?" Serah asked.

"They keep chanting, 'meanie Miss Farron.'" He said.

I sighed. "Is that it?"

"One of the girls started yelling at the other kids, and then the boys shouted 'meanie Miss Farron.' Then they attacked her with snowballs!"

"Oh Etro they're reenacting it!" I cried covering my head on the table. Gadot looked confused of the situation.

"One of those little twerps threw at snowball at Light, and she got pissed off with them so now they won't stop calling her 'meanie Miss Farron." Lebreau reiterated.

"That's wrong of them." Gadot said.

"I'll have a talk with them later." Serah placed the towel on the table, "They should know better than to do what they did."

"What's the point?" I asked. "They'll most likely do it again."

"Not if I have a stern talking with them." Serah walked to the door and grabbed her coat from the rack. "I think I should talk to them about it now, to get this situation sorted out."

"Good luck, you're gonna' need it." Lebreau said before Serah left the house.

I rested my head against the table. Lebreau placed her hand on my shoulder, "It's alright Light-"

"I'm hungry..." I whined.

"What would you like?"

"Soup please?"

Lebreau patted my shoulder, "No problem." She said before she went to the cabinet, retrieved a can of soup and began cooking. "Hey Gadot, you should go back out and help Snow with that shoveling."

Gadot smirked. "Yeah, Yeah I know gotta' go help Snow shovel the snow." With that he left just like Serah did.

It wasn't long until a ceramic bowl and a spoon was placed in front of me. "Be careful, it's hot." Lebreau continued prepping food as she was before.

"Thank you." I sat up and stared at the steam rising up from the broth. I swallowed a few spoonfuls then looked up at Lebreau. "I have to ask you a question..."

The younger girl looked to me, a smile laid on her face. "Ask away."

It took a minute to get the words unclogged from my throat, "Do you think... I should change my mind about giving the child to Serah?"

Lebreau stopped skinning potatoes. She had a puzzled look on her face as if trying to solve a riddle, "It's not up to me Light, it's what _you_ feel is the best choice."

"Over these long months, I've gone over the decision many times and I still can't come up with a final choice." I lightly pulled at my hair in frustration. "It's killing me Lebreau..." I faced the table once more getting my fingers caught in my pink locks.

"Since I can't really make the choice for you, all I can say is when the time is right you'll know what the best decision will be." She brought my head up from the table and smiled. "Light, everything will be fine, you gotta' learn to go with the flow."

"Perhaps you're right..." I stood up from the table. "I'm going to go lie down for a bit..."

"Alright, want me to wake you up when dinner's ready?" Lebreau turned to the sink rinsing my unfinished soup into the drain.

"No thank you," I began to walk off to the bedroom, feeling the weight of my eyelids increase. The bed was still unmade from this morning, the blanket was practically hanging off the edge of the mattress, it didn't matter to me in the slightest. As I lay upon the cool sheets, a soft sigh of relief escaped my lips, it was pure comfort. It was not long until fatigue consumed me and the room was nothing but dark in my sights.

* * *

From the darkness that shrouded my thoughts and dreams, a low pitched humming trailed and remained tangled within the harmonious parts of my mind. I opened my eyes slightly to see the sharp lavender eyes of Caius as I slowly awoke. I didn't react to his presence; instead I asked him, "What are you doing here?"

"I come not to harm you." His voice was calm and forgiving in a sense. "I fear for the child that still remains in your womb."

"Why?" I asked. "You didn't seem to care much when you almost claimed my life a few months ago."

Caius remained silent as if the mention of that night brought his spirit down. As easy as it could have been for him to attack me in my most vulnerable state, Caius stood by the side of the bed with his hand caressing my swollen abdomen. I barely moved, cautious of what sort of sly scheme was shoved up his sleeve; his face remained blank of emotion which made it difficult to know if he was truly planning something. As his face was blank, mine was empty of emotion as well, I remembered what Lebreau had mentioned about 'going with the flow,' perhaps since I was so calm and accepting of Caius' presence, it was the reason he didn't turn on me.

"...The child remains still," He said lowly. "Perhaps it rests in Etro's arms?"

I didn't let the thought of death get to me; instead I played it off cold. "Perhaps it has."

"You care for this child do you not?"

"I do not..." The words escaped past my lips with ease, as if I seriously had no care for the child's well being. "It is nothing more than a nuisance to me anyhow."

Caius turned his head, "Then why have you made it this far to term if you had not a care for it?"

I looked up to the ceiling, "I'm not sure, perhaps at one point I had feelings for such a thing..."

What am I saying? I thought as my heart weighed heavy from my words. Caius walked to the end of the bed and began to fade away. As I watched him, the whole world began to dim to nothing but darkness... The faint cries of a child called out to me "Mommy!" That was when I awoke from my nightmare. I reawakened in a cold sweat, my chest ached and tears slid down the sides of my face... I was scared beyond this point, was the Caius in my dream hinting at something? Had my child heard the bells of death and was now cradled in Etro's arms, or was it my fears getting the better of me?


	12. Fragment 11

_**I begin my life anew**_

_**Chapter 11**_

* * *

I looked over to Serah's bed; she was sound asleep within its sheets. On the nightstand by her bed I could see the glow of the clock's numerals.

**4:15 A.M**

I sat on the edge of the bed, glaring down on my protruding stomach letting out a sigh. "When will you come out?" I whispered.

"Asking it won't make it come faster..." A tired voice yawned. "You just have to be patient Claire."

I turned to see Serah, who looked at me from the warmth of her bed. "How much longer must I wait?"

"You were never patient Claire," Serah said with lightly closed eyes, half asleep. "Even when we were kids, you always rushed into things."

"That doesn't really answer my question." I muttered before standing to my feet.

"Where are you going?" My younger sister asked.

"To get water..." I said weakly before departing. In the back of me I could slightly hear Serah whisper, "Hurry back."

As I left the room I looked to my left to see the door to the nursery, my hand touched the cold of the door knob and twisted it slightly, the door squeaked as it opened. Snow, who was forced to sleep on the couch for about three weeks now, stirred in his sleep but he didn't awaken. I let out a soft breath of relief before entering the baby's room, and then slowly closed the door behind me. The glow of the snow outside illuminated the room enough for me to see without tripping over anything. My feet guided me to the rocking chair that stood right next to the crib. For a few moments I stood in front of it before actually sitting down.

"This is your room..." I whimpered, leaning back into the chair. I inhaled deeply before letting out a sigh, "How I wish this was in my home," My nose sniffled. "How I wish... I could care for you," I rubbed my eyes from lingering tears, I rocked the chair lightly.

"Light?" My eyes scrolled upward to see Snow standing in the doorway. "What are you doing up this early?" He yawned.

"I can't sleep..." I turned my head slightly towards the crib. "Why are you up?"

"I heard you come in here," He said stretching out his back. "Also, the couch isn't as comfortable as it looks."

"Why don't you go sleep in the bedroom with Serah then?"

"Well you're sleeping in there; it'd be rude of me to let you sleep on the couch." He said.

I began to get up, Snow rushed to help but I managed to get up on my own. "I don't mind sleeping on the couch," I looked up at Snow, his face showed displeasure. "Go sleep in the bedroom, I'll be fine."

"I just don't feel right letting you, especially in your condition, sleep on the couch..."

"Don't worry about me," I smiled, hoping he would stop being stubborn. "I've slept in worse places."

Snow paused for a moment before speaking again, "Well... Alright," He turned and began to exit the room. "I'm still not liking this idea, sis."

I opened my mouth as if to speak, but the words remained in my throat, I still didn't get use to him calling me 'sis'. I decided to brush it off for once, and just accept it. "Snow," I said lightly.

My sister's husband turned to me, "Yes Light?"

"Goodnight." I grinned, and he did too.

"G'night sis," He continued walking to the bedroom but not without saying. "Happy birthday."

Like Snow, I exited the nursery but not without giving it one last glance before sealing it behind its door. My feet continued to walk towards the couch, Snows blanket still remained there; I sat on the lumpy looking furniture and covered my body with the long cloth. Almost instantly I was out, like a light.

* * *

"Claire," A whisper called. "Claire, wake up." My eyes slowly opened, and before me stood Serah. "Claire, what are you doing on the couch?"

"I felt bad for Snow, that's why I let him sleep in the bedroom." I yawned.

Serah sighed, "Claire go back in the bedroom," She said with a bit of attitude. "Sleep in my bed."

"I couldn't possibly do that Serah."

"Claire, I insist." She held her hand out to me, I grabbed it and she helped me from the couch. "Now go to bed sis."

"Are you sure you want me sleeping in your bed?"

"I don't mind," My younger sister smiled as she picked up the blanket from the furniture and wrapped herself in it. "Now go to bed, we have so much to do later!"

I paused for a second, "Oh, right my birthday."

"That's right; we have so much planned for you Light!" She gently nudged me to go to the bedroom. "Now go on to bed, or you'll never wake up later."

I smiled, "Alright, I'll go." I walked to the bedroom door; I turned to face Serah again.

Serah made a motion with her hand, "Go on, I'm not going to sleep until you do."

I entered the bedroom and closed the door behind me before making my way to Serah's bed. I laid down and felt the warmth from Serah still remaining, my head faced the ceiling and a light smile laid on my face. "_Twenty five_..." I whispered to myself. "I'm getting too old." And once again, I fell asleep, going out like a light.


	13. Fragment 12

_**I begin my life anew**_

_**Chapter 12**_

* * *

The light from the midday sun shined upon my face, at first I ignored it but then I overheard Serah and Lebreau beyond the other side of the bedroom door.

"Why are you making breakfast?" Lebreau asked. "It's almost three."

"Lightning missed breakfast this morning because she was up late last night," Serah reiterated. "Plus, it's her birthday; I always make her favorite breakfast items on her birthday even if she doesn't celebrate it."

"That's why she likes you best."

"That _and_ I'm her sister." Serah chuckled.

My birthday, I had almost forgotten, sleeping the whole day away. I began to try and sit up but a sharp pained wrapped around my abdomen and forced me back down. The pain constricted itself for a minute then relieved. I waited a few more minutes before trying again, when my body finally had the moment to sit upward on the bed's edge, the pain returned but stronger. I moaned at the pain, clutching my stomach whenever it returned.

"Serah!" I practically screamed; my sister rushed in with Lebreau behind her.

"Lightning, what's wrong?"

"I think..." I breathed heavily. "...I'm having contractions."

Serah's face lit up in a shock, "We have to get you to the hospital then!"

"We can't. Gadot and Snow took the only available vehicle." Lebreau's voice seemed to be stricken with panic as well.

"Well that's just great-" I yelled as another contraction took place.

"What are we going to do?" Serah became hysterical at this point.

"Well..." Lebreau paused to think. "Snow and Gadot should be back soon, so why don't we just wait till they return?"

I nodded, "Alright, I just hope they aren't gone for more than an hour..."

"Light," Serah rushed over to me still in a panic. "You should lie down until they come back."

"If I lay down," Another contraction hit. "I might not be able to get back up by the time they come back."

Lebreau walked over and helped me from the bed, "Let's walk around for a little bit Light, to help get your mind off of the contractions." Serah held onto my right arm and we started our walk around the house.

The contractions were further apart as we walked but after some time they became closer together again. Maqui and Yuj walked in from playing outside in the snow, they paused at the door and stared at the three of us walking around the room.

"What are you doing?" Maqui asked.

"Lightning went into labor and we're waiting for Snow and Gadot to come back so we can take her to the hospital." Serah said, I noticed her hands shaking a bit.

"They still aren't back yet?" Yuj asked taking his hat off.

Lebreau stopped walking with Serah and me, "No they haven't, it shouldn't even take that long to go and get cake stuff, I mean it's all in one store and there's two of them!"

"Do you need us to do anything?" Maqui asked.

"There's not much you could do right now, but if they aren't back here in the next twenty minutes then there's not going to be enough time to get Lightning to the hospital, then will we really need your help."

"You want us to wait outside and signal Snow if we see him?" Yuj asked.

"If you want to make yourselves useful, go on ahead." Lebreau turned back to Serah and I and continued to walk with us.

The boys smiled and announced simultaneously, "This is a job for N.O.R.A!" With those words they rushed back outside.

"Those boys..." Lebreau chuckled.

The pain in my stomach quadrupled and had me hunched over, "Ah- These contractions are getting worse!" I gritted my teeth. "What is taking those two bozos so long?"

"Don't worry Light," Serah tried to comfort my tense body, "I'm sure they'll be here soon."

"They better- Ah!"

Lebreau led me over to the couch and let me sit. "There, just try to relax, just breath in and out." She rushed over to the sink and rinsed a dish cloth under the spout, then returned. "Here Serah, dab this on Light's head."

"Why, where are you going?" Serah asked quite nervously.

"I'm gonna' go outside and try to find Snow and Gadot, they should've been back by now." The girl tore her jacket from the coat rack and threw it over her shoulders. "Call if anything goes wrong." Then she left.

Serah looked at me with fear in her eyes, "D-don't worry Light," She dabbed the wet cloth on my head. "Everything's going to be fine."

"What are you so scared about?" I asked in between breaths.

"I-I don't know," She held her head with her remaining hand. "I have a headache..."

"I should be the one scared and suffering from a headache right now, I mean, there isn't a person coming out of _you_." I rushed the sentence.

"I know, I guess I'm just nervous is all." She placed the cold cloth in her head. "It's not every day that you see a child about to be born."

"It's not every day that you get to experience it firsthand." I said.

Outside we heard Maqui, Yuj and Lebreau shouting. I could hear Snow and Gadot as they were probably asking why the three were calling for them. Lebreau reentered the house, "Serah help Light get her jacket on, you both gotta' get going." The girl took our jackets from the rack and tossed them on the arm of the couch.

Serah snatched my coat and helped me stand. "Are you coming with us Lebreau?" She asked.

"I can't, I have to stay here and hold down the fort and take care of the kids." She smiled at us. "I wish you luck Light."

I nodded slipping my arms into my winter coat, "I hope the kids don't drive you crazy."

"Oh, they probably will."

* * *

The contractions seemed to stop as we began our journey to the hospital, for a while it seemed I could finally relax. Serah turned to me from the front seat,

"Light are you feeling alright?" She asked. "Do you feel nauseous?"

"I'm fine." I sat up straight. "Are you alright, you look sick."

"I'm alright, just nervous is all..."

"Tch, I'm still unsure why you're nervous." I grasped the seat belt strap feeling a slight cramp.

"Well how would you react if the tables were turned?"

"I guess you have a point there."

The sharp pains began to return as we entered the city; my breathing became labored once more as the contractions were closer together than before. I had to quickly get my mind off of the pain. "Snow," I said.

"Yes Light?" He stressed the 'yes.'

"Can you put the radio on please?"

"Sure," He turned it on but no sound escaped it.

"Aren't you going to put a station on?" I asked feeling a bit desperate at this point.

"Oh, I didn't know you wanted a station on." He said with sarcasm. "You only told me to turn the radio on."

"Snow now is not the time for your wise ass jokes!" I growled feeling the pain in my stomach accelerate.

Serah hit his arm, "Snow seriously?"

"_What_?" He whined. "I was only trying to brighten the mood."

"Does it _look_ like it's the time to be starting with that crap?" I shouted clutching my stomach with was now racked with pain.

"Light, calm down!" Serah stressed leaning over and grabbing my hand which I grasped tightly.

"Yeah Light, I was only joking around-" I gave a swift kick to the back of Snow's seat. "_Geez_\- Any harder with that and she'd have her foot in my back, literally."

Serah glared at him, "Maybe if you didn't try and start something you wouldn't get a foot to your back," She scolded. "Remember who you're making jokes with why don't ya'?"  
"Well _excuse_ me for trying to lighten the mood." Snow said as if trying to answer back but failed to do so.

"Well next time don't be a wisenheimer?" Serah asked.

"Alright..." He sighed.

The pain increased in my stomach, it seemed worse than a handful of bullets shooting at me all at once. "Oh Etro, are we there yet?" I wailed.

"Don't worry Light we're almost there." Serah turned to me and smile. "Just hang in a little while longer."

"If I wait any longer this kid is going to be born right here!"

Snow sped up the car; it was scary yet kind of normal for him to do so, especially in this weather. Serah kept telling him to slow down but it was as if he couldn't hear her. I kept my mouth shut, the only thing I really wanted was the pain to stop, but with each passing minute it was a step closer to the baby entering the world.

* * *

At first it seemed unrealistic how we reached the hospital and had not crashed in the process, we went so fast when Snow stopped the car in front of the hospital we all jerked forward. Serah helped me from the car to hospital's front desk. Before the nurse could even greet me, I bent over in agonizing pain and shouted, "Get this thing out of me!"

"Alright miss, I have to ask you if your water broke yet."

"No it didn't." Serah answered.

The nurse jumped up and retrieved a wheelchair from the other side of the room and returned for me to sit upon it. "Follow me and we'll get her all settled in."

"Don't worry sis," Serah said wheeling me down the hall with the nurse. "This will be over before you know it..."

I didn't respond to her, my mind was more focused on the nerve numbing pain of the child that seemed so desperate to enter this world. It was like fire this pain, spreading all over like a forest being consumed with dancing flame. I gripped the arm rests of the wheelchair, the creaks they made were proof of my agony; Serah's face was as easy to read as a book, I could tell just by glancing over my shoulder that she too was also in distress, it still bothered me that she was more anxious to this child being born than I was.

It seemed to be an eternity before the nurse finally stopped in front of a door, "Just wait in here and I'll be back with her gown." The nurse said as Serah and I entered the white room. The nurse then closed the door behind us.

"Well Light, here we are." Serah came to my side. "Are you feeling alright?"

My arms wrapped around my stomach just waiting for a spike of pain to occur, "No..." I whimpered. "Everything hurts."

Serah held her hand out to me, "Let me help you up, perhaps you'd be more comfortable on the bed?"

I grabbed her hand and clenched it tightly feeling another contraction, she winced lightly. "I'm sorry..." I said feeling the pain pass.

"It's alright." She pulled me upward to my feet, I nearly collapsed to the floor but luckily the bed supported me enough to keep me standing.

The door opened and walking in was the nurse from before and a woman who looked to be a doctor. "Claire?" She asked. "It's been a while since I last saw you." She gave a warm smile. The nurse placed a hospital gown on the bed then left the room.

I gave a puzzled look back to her. "What, you don't remember me?" Her tone seemed surprised. I shook my head. "Doctor Cassey, remember I did your first ultrasound?"

"Oh, sorry, I'm not that good with remembering faces."

"It's alright," She continued to hold her smile. "You should change into that gown now and then we'll wait for the nurse to return with the epidural and fetal monitors." For a moment I stood there a bit nervous to be undressing in front of others. "I'll give you some privacy; call me when you're done." Doctor Cassey left the room.

Serah looked to me, "Do you need help taking off your jacket?"

I sat at the edge of the bed, "No, I can do it."

"Are you sure?"

My arms slipped from the sleeves of my coat, "I'm sure." I proceeded in removing my shirt, along with my pants which didn't fall past my ankles, which I couldn't reach.

"Don't worry sis," Serah leaned down and tugged at my pajama pants, removing them from my ankles. "There you go."

"Thanks," I said.

"Don't mention it." Serah smiled lightly handing me the hospital gown. I slipped my arms through the short sleeves and fitted it to my body. I attempted to tie the strings in the back, but failed.

"I'm going to go get doctor Cassey." Serah said placing the small pile of clothes I dropped on the floor onto the wheelchair seat. She walked to the door and opened it slightly, "She's done." Doctor Cassey reentered the room.

"Well don't you look as cute as a button?" She said.

I tilted my head downward, feeling a bit uncomfortable about her comment. Another contraction began to occur; my hands grasped the sheets to the bed as I winced from the pain. Doctor Cassey let out an agitated sigh and turned back to the door, "Where is that nurse?" She muttered.

A few minutes later the nurse returned with a tray of needles and a small vial, "Alright Miss Farron, just lay on your side so I can administer the epidural." The nurse instructed.

I held my breath trying to lie down; staying on my side while someone stuck needles in my spine was more of a challenge. Within a minute, she was done and I was able to relax my muscles, feeling the thick tube sticking out of my back. I glanced over at Doctor Cassey who was having a conversation with Serah by the door. Reading their lips was difficult, especially when the nurse was in my view as she strapped the fetal monitors to my stomach. Then the doctor turned to me, she didn't say a word but instead gave me a serious glance before exiting the room.

The nurse hooked the thin tube that was place in my back, up to an IV and the numbing drug quickly relieved me from the pain... I didn't realize it at first but the nurse placed a hospital band around my wrist, it only came to my attention after she had left the room.

Serah walked over to me with a faint smile, "So all we have to do now is to wait."

I nodded lightly in response, "I feel... Strange." I said.

"How so?"

"I'm not sure; it could just be the epidural drug." I sighed. "What time is it?"

Serah reached into her pocket and pulled out her small pink cell phone, "It's a little after six thirty."

"Well this is one way to spend a birthday." I said sarcasticly trying to reach for the blanket that the nurse nearly balled up in the corner of the bed. Serah did me the kind favor of covering my lower body with said blanket. "I'm sorry I probably let all those party things you had in store, go to waste."

"Oh, don't let it get to you," She said with a smile. "There are things more important than little party things."

We heard the door open, the person who walked in was Snow covered with melting... Snow. "Hey you'll never guess who I just met in the hallway." He said.

"Who'd you meet?" Serah asked.

"He'll be here in a few minutes; he's having a 'moment' in the hallway."

"Snow just tell us who it is."

Before Snow could even answer, a boy about eighteen barged in, the young boy was Hope. In his hands were half a dozen balloons with an assortment of sayings and a large chocobo plushy. We all stared at him awkwardly as he stood there with the arrangement of gifts in his hands. "...What?" He asked staring back at everyone.

"Hope, what's with all the...Presents?" Snow poked at one of the balloons.

Hope looked to me, "I got them for Lightning." His face looked shy. "I-it is her birthday after all right?"

I gave him a smile in acceptance to his gesture. "That was kind of you." The boy gave a timid smile, walked over to bed and placed the chocobo doll by my side.

"I hope you like it Light, I made it myself."

I rested the chocobo doll on my swollen stomach and stared at its goofy googly eyes with plush feathers that shot out all over various parts of it."I love it Hope."

Hope's face lightened up by my words. "I'm so glad!" His fingers clutched the strings of his balloons. "I didn't think you would actually like it."

"Aw- If I would've known we were giving Light her gifts, I would not have left mine at home!" Serah cried a little frustrated.

I chuckled at her, "Don't worry Serah, you can wait till Christmas to give me my gifts." I cradled the chocobo doll under my arm. "It's only a few days away."

"Say Light," Snow said. "If you have your baby tonight, would you be giving yourself a birthday gift?"

"I would guess so." I tried to keep the topic of giving the child up out of the conversation.

"That's a bit ironic, isn't it?" Hope asked.

"That's going to be funny if you and the baby share a birthday every year." Serah giggled.

"Maybe that's why it waited so long," Snow said. "It wants to present itself to you on your birthday!"

"That does make sense, to some extent." I said; a loud yawn escaped my lips as my eyelids became heavy.

"Sis, you should rest." Serah placed her hand on my arm that still cradled the chocobo doll. "You wouldn't want to be tired later would you?"

"I guess not." A slight sigh passed my lips. "I feel as if I've wasted my whole birthday sleeping."

"Don't you do that anyway?"

"No, usually I'd be working today."

"If you think about it, you are kind of working-" I stared at Hope as his sentence was cut short. "What? You're pushing out another human being, that's not work?"

"Not the work I'm talking about Hope."

Hope crossed his arms and turned to his side. "It's still work..."

My head shook lightly at his near inaudible words. I yawned again, "I'm going to sleep for a while."

"You should," Serah said with a smile. "Maybe when you wake up you'll be ready to have the baby."

"Heh, that'd be a pretty rude awakening."

"That would," Serah's comforting smile remained on her face, it made me forget why I was in a hospital bed in the first place. "Get some sleep now Light, I'll wake you in a few hours."

"Sleeping might be a challenge." The tube in my back prevented me from sitting the way I felt most comfortable. "Damn epidural."


	14. Fragment 13

_**I begin my life anew**_

_**Chapter 13**_

* * *

"Ah- Damn this!" I cried feeling the erupting contractions in my stomach. I had only been awake for a few minutes and the intense pain had already brought me to tears.

Serah stood to the left side of the bed coaching me to breathe through the contractions, while Snow was at my right as I tightly gripped his hand; it was like we were having an intense arm wrestling match. And Hope -_Little Hope-_ stood in the corner with the chocobo doll, watching from a distance.

"This is some rude awakening, ain't it Light?" Snow tried his hardest not to give into my death grip that little by little was breaking his hand.

"Oh, go get hit by a jet would you?" I growled forcing my grip to tighten.

"Lightning," Serah raised her voice. "That's not very nice!"

"He's not making this any easier- Ah!"

"Hey Hope," Snow turned his head to the cowering boy who still stood in the corner. "Why don't you take over for me, my hand is gettin' sore."

"I-I don't know..." The boy stuttered.

"Come on," Said Snow, who was practically coaxing the boy. "Prove to me you're a man and not a little boy anymore."

With those words burned in his mind, Hope stepped up to him, "I'll have you know I was the leader of the Academy, so I already proved my manhood, this won't be any different!" His voice showed determination. Hope nudged Snow aside and like the man his mind believed, grabbed my hand.

Hope's face lit up in shock the moment I had my grip on him. "Ow- Light, ow!" My grip couldn't loosen, no matter how hard I tried. The contractions were about a minute apart now and caused me about as much as I was inflicting on Hope.

"Ah- Light!" Hope cried. "The pain!" The boy slowly and dramatically knelt to the floor into submission from my hand breaking grip.

"Snow, go get a nurse, I think Light is ready!" With the simple order given to him, Snow left the room in search of a nurse.

"Light..." Hope whined lying on the floor. "Please let go of my hand?" He was sobbing. Serah rushed over to Hope and yanked his hand from mine. "I can't feel my hand..." He whined standing to his feet.

"Just keep breathing Light." Serah told me as she tried to relieve Hope of his crippled hand.

A slight thump came from the bottom of my stomach, a quick rush of shock went throughout my body, making me lose my breath, and then a loud splash hit the floor- My water broke.

Hope stood there paralyzed at the sight of the fluid that puddled the floor. "Hope, are you alright?" Serah asked snapping her fingers in front of his eyes, trying to break him from his trance. Before we even had the chance to blink, the boy collapsed to the floor and didn't get up.

"Oh gosh..." Serah grieved. Hope couldn't be helped at this point.

"What is taking Snow so long?" I screamed feeling the urge to push.

"Unhand me!"A familiar voice ordered from the opposite side of the door. "I said unhand me, this instant!" Snow barged in with Doctor Cassey's arm in his grasp.

"Snow, it's about time!" Serah said with some relief. "Doctor, my sister's water just broke."

"I can see that and the boy lying in it." The doctor sighed being released from Snow's hand. She turned on the small radio device in her ear and called for nurses to remove Hope from the room, also to get me ready for delivery.

Before long, a few nurses rushed into the room. They picked up Hope from the floor, placed him in a wheelchair and wheeled him away.

Serah stood by my side, one last time. "You're going to do great sis," She told me holding my hand in hers, expressing a warm smile on her face. Snow placed a hand on her shoulder and pulled her away from my company. "Don't forget to breathe!" She shouted before Snow and her were on the other side of the closed door.

The nurses began to position me for the birth; they placed me in the most uncomfortable position possible. Doctor Cassey stood by my feet; I could hardly recognize her from the odd looking face mask she wore.

"Alright, whenever you're ready just bare down and push for ten seconds then you can breathe." Were her exact directions.

Immediately I felt the urge, as hard as I could I began to push, counting the seconds in my head before I could stop. The pain of another person being forced from my body was unbearable, I'd much rather have the labor pain back. Ten seconds seemed like ten minutes. As soon as I inhaled again, the exhaustion hit me like a behemoth's massive paws. Sadly though, my journey wasn't even close to over, it had only just begun.

I didn't even know how long it was until I felt the head begin to emerge. All that kept echoing in my ears were the nurses who kept encouraging me to push harder than I already was... Oh the pain, the feel of the head inching out further with every push, it felt like I was splitting into two halves! I gripped the mattress and screamed at the top of my lungs, just waiting for the fiery pain to end.

"The head is out!" The woman across from me announced. For a moment I lied there, gasping for air to fill my exhausted lungs with my sweaty hands undetached from the mattress. "Don't stop now, you're not done yet."

I felt the beads of sweat drip down my forehead and the bitter taste of tears as they inched to the corners of my mouth. I heaved and pushed again feeling the splitting pain increase as the shoulders began to pass through.

All was silent except for my hysterical screaming at this point; the pain was too much to handle, even for me. "Just one more push and you're done." The words were repeatitive in my mind as I gathered up whatever energy that still remained, I heaved and pushed letting out another loud scream...

My body was done; it had absolutely no more energy to continue. Luckily for me, it seemed my journey through pregnancy had finally come to an end. The relief was something I longed for in the past day and finally it was granted to me.

For a moment I had forgotten what all the hours of pushing were for until the room was filled with cries and screams from a new little being. At first I flinched from the sound, and then my eyes met this new little person who held tiny fists up in the air screaming about as loud as I was just before it arrived.

"It's a girl Claire!" Cassey announced.

A smile crawled its way onto my face seeing the little baby that screamed covered in blood and goo. The nurses took the baby from Cassey to clean her. I stared in amazement as she kicked and screamed when the nurses tried to wrap her in towels- She was my girl alright.

"Can I see her?" I asked in a weak and raspy voice, wiping the sweat from my forehead.

One of the nurses smiled and said, "Of course." She left my side for a moment and returned to me with my screaming daughter. I held my breath as the child in the white swaddling cloth was placed on my chest; she stopped crying as soon as her head rested on me. She fussed for a moment before becoming quiet.

"Hey," I whispered to her. "So you were the one that's been kicking me." The baby buried her head into my chest whining lightly into my gown. Her small hand tried desperately to grab my hair but failed with every attempt.

"Just this once..." I took the end curl of my hair and slipped it gently through her pudgy little fingers, the baby then pulled her hand towards her rosy red cheek, it wasn't long until she fell asleep. I smiled seeing how soundly she slept.

"What is her name?" I snapped out of my trance and looked at the nurse. "Do you have a name for your daughter?" She asked.

I was never good at naming anything, if Serah and I had a pet it would be a 'fluffy' or 'whiskers' but this wasn't a pet. Naming a child would need a little more thought.

And then it hit me.

"Chloe," I finally replied. "Chloe Farron."

"That's a lovely name Miss Farron."

I looked back at Chloe, admiring her. "A lovely name for a lovely girl." I whispered to the child.

After a while though, one of the nurses stood above me and took Chloe- _My precious baby-_ from my arms. The child began to whine, sensing I was no longer holding her.

"Where are you taking her?" I asked desperately feeling my heart begin to sink.

"I have to take your baby to the nursery now," She said. "Don't worry; you'll be able to see her later."

It was easier said than done to wait until I would be able to see Chloe again; her loud wailing as the nurse removed her from the room the room broke my heart... If only I hadn't been so exhausted from the delivery, I would've taken my baby back and she would still be sleeping in my arms.

* * *

Later on, they put me in a recovery room. I was so tired but no matter how heavy my eyelids became I couldn't bring myself to sleep. The only thing that kept me awake was Chloe; her cries haunted me and with each passing second without her made me more and more eager to see her again.

The door opened and my younger sister walked in with the biggest smile I had ever seen on her face. "Hey sis," She greeted nearing the bed. "How do you feel?"

"I feel like crap."

"Snow and I saw the baby in the nursery before," She said. "She's beautiful Light."

"She is." I said inching the bed's blanket closer to my face.

"You named her Chloe?" My sister asked.

"Yeah." I replied.

"It's a pretty name."

I smiled at her compliment, but anyone who was to see me could easily tell my feelings were down.

"Light, what's wrong?" Serah asked as her smile diminished.

"I really want to see Chloe again..." A sigh passed my lips. "The nurse keeps telling me to rest up before she can bring her here."

"Then rest up for a little bit, you were in the delivery room for well over four hours, I can imagine how tired you must be."

"Ugh, I'm exhausted." I said. "It's difficult to sleep though." I sat upward. "I'm worried about Chloe; she could be hungry or cold-"

"Claire relax." Serah stopped me from getting over excited. "Chloe is fine; she's probably sleeping right about now."

"You can't be so certain about that!" The sudden fear that my child was in distress caused me to jump from the bed.

"Claire, where are you going?"

"I have to make sure Chloe is alright!" The cramps in my stomach prevented me from going far but my determination kept me moving, until Serah grabbed my arm.

"Claire, Chloe is fine!" She yelled. "Get back into bed you're going to hurt yourself!"

I reached for the door, "That's a risk I'm willing to take Serah!" My sister pulled me back, almost making me trip.

"Claire, listen to me-" Her voice showed frustration. "The baby is fine, stop worrying so much."

My mind was a wreck; it was difficult to listen to Serah while my own maternal instincts were in full gear. My mind wanted one thing and my heart longed for another. I sat at the edge of the bed and held my head which was slowly beggining to ache.

"I don't even know what to do now Serah..." My fingers made small circles around my temples. "It's hard to get my mind off of this."

Serah sat next to me, her head resting on my arm. "You know what's funny?" She asked. "When we first saw Chloe, she was screaming her head off. Snow said, 'Hey she looks a lot like Light, she makes the same face whenever she yells at me."

My hand covered my mouth to prevent my sudden urge to laugh but it didn't hold long.

"You know, it seems like it was yesterday when I got that phone call from you and you told me you were pregnant." Serah said. "And here we are eight months later."

"Time flies." I said.

"That it does." Serah paused for a moment. "May I ask you a question?"

"Sure, what do you need to know?"

"It's pretty obvious by now, but I just wanted to make sure." Serah didn't hesitate to ask, "Are you planning on keeping the baby?"

I turned my head to her, "Do you mind if I do?"

Serah smiled, "I don't mind one bit, I was hoping you would eventually come to that decision."

"You were?"

"Mhm, for the past four or five months after you wanted Snow and me to raise it. I've been trying to change your mind."

I gave my sister a look of pure disbelief. "How did you-?"

Serah giggled. "When you first asked me to raise it, I kept telling you what a great mother you would be, at other times I'd try to make you jealous so you would decline your request for us to care for it." She explained. "I tried so hard to change your mind, and it worked!"

"Why did you do it?"

Serah looked to the floor for a moment before turning her attention back to me. "I was upset that I could no longer be with you, I was starting my new life with Snow and leaving you behind in the dust, and it didn't sit well with me." Her voice sounded as if she was about to cry. "So when you told me you were having a baby, I took an advantage of it so you wouldn't have to be alone and that you could move on and start a new life of your own."

I didn't respond to her, not at first anyway. My mind was wrapped around her words, her pity towards me. "Is that it?" I finally asked. "You wanted me to keep Chloe because you felt bad for me?"

Serah seemed a bit hesitant to answer, "I did..."

I nudged her head from my arm and stood up, crossing my arms in annoyance. "For eight months I've been debating to myself about this 'motherhood' thing, all this time I was believing I was making a wrong choice by giving up Chloe to you," My head shook lightly. "But now I feel I should've just stuck with it." My response was both true and false.

"Sis, I only wanted what was best for you."

I jerked my head to her, "What was best for me?" My voice was reaching the point of anger. "Why would you think a child would be best, explain this to me Serah."

"I was upset that you were still living by yourself, plus haven't you ever dreamed of one day having a family of your own?"

"No," I barked. "Why would I care for a family when I can barely care for myself?"

"What do you mean?" She asked. "You can take perfect care of yourself."

"On Cocoon I could take care of myself, in this world..." I paused. "In this world, I'm nothing but a weak... _Fool_!"

"Don't talk like that Claire!"

"I loathe that name!" I yelled. "It's something I wish you would stop calling me! I'm not _Claire_, I'm Lightning!"

"...To me you'll always be Claire, you can change your name millions of times, and your name will always be Claire."

"I wish it wasn't." I said.

"Why do you hate it so much?" Serah asked. "I never understood why."

I gritted my teeth, "It's none of your business."

"Everything you do is my business, just like everything I did use to be your business."

"What are you my mother?" I yelled.

"No, but if our mother was here, she'd be pretty upset on how you're behaving." She glared at me. "And don't even come up with some ridiculous comeback."

I didn't reply, I just stood there with a clenched fist feeling a foreign emotion I might've felt once or twice before.

"I want to ask, why do you feel _weak_?" Serah asked.

"It's an unknown reason why I do, but the feeling it's just there." I said calmly. "Maybe it's because I was still trying to get use to living on this new world, with these new people, and I was trying to get my life together." A moment of silence took place; we gave each other a quick look before I continued. "Then I meet Caius, thinking he's a changed man and that perhaps my life was for once going to be stress free then I found out I was pregnant and it seemed this whole new world I set up for myself suddenly began crumbling down... I let this whole "fresh start" crap get into my head it made me feel like I could do anything but now I know I was not ready for all of this..." Tears began to swell in my eyes as the feeling of hopelessness took over. "I'm still not ready Serah...Why do you think I didn't want to be a parent in the first place?"

Serah stood from the bed and wrapped her arms around me. "How do you think we felt?" She asked. "Me, Snow, Lebreau, all of us; we had to start from scratch as well. We had to try and adapt to this strange world and believe me when I say it wasn't easy, living in the dark without even a faint light to guide us." She looked up to me and wiped a stray tear from my cheek. "Eventually, we moved on Claire but I still see you even now, still stuck living in the past, thinking we still live on Cocoon... That world is gone now Claire, every burden, every nightmare, every worry we might've had is erased from our lives now." She paused to separate our hug. "It's time to start with a clean slate and to also stop being the person who bottled up their worries and feelings; it's time to stop being 'Lightning' and time to start being 'Claire."

"Serah..."

"I'm doing this for you." She said. "Ever since you were a teenager, all you did was worry about others without anyone to return the favor. Well, now I'm finally going to help you but you have to take part as well."

I pulled Serah in for another hug; it was something I really needed. "It's going to be difficult to change."

"Nobody said change was easy but don't worry, things will get better." My sister looked up to me with a grin, I found it was difficult to return a similar gesture but she knew that I was accepting of her offer. "Now, why don't you go lie down and I'll ask the nurse to bring Chloe."

I finally smiled at her as my arms released her from my hug. "Heh, Alright." My feet led me to the bed as Serah walked the opposite direction towards the door.

When Serah opened the door, she was greeted by a familiar face; it was none other than Doctor Cassey.

"Oh, Doctor Cassey-" Serah said with some surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"I came with your sister's daughter," The taller woman entered with a mobile crib. "The nurse was suppose to bring her here after your sister was settled in- _Oh well._" She sighed.

"It's a little coin incidental that I was just about to go ask the nurse to bring the baby here."

"Heh- That is a coin incidence," Cassey picked Chloe up from the crib. "I guess I saved you the trip, ey?" She winked at Serah before walking over to my bed. The doctor gently slipped Chloe into my arms and the emotions seemed to hit me like a whirlwind; a large part of it was happiness and relief was there too. The joyous beating of my heart caused a smile to form on my face; she was just as perfect as I had remembered.

"Well, I'm off to go fix the other mistakes the nurses made." Cassey said heading towards the door. "Enjoy your baby!" She exited flashing a smile.

Serah neared the bed, "She's much more beautiful up close." My sister hovered over me to get a better view.

"Do you want to hold her?" I asked.

"Can I?" Serah replied with her voice full of bliss.

"Of course you can." Serah was obviously nervous; it was easy to tell considering she kept jerking her arms away whenever I attempted to place the child in her arms. "Serah quit moving your arms."

"I'm sorry; I've never held a baby before... I don't want to hurt her."

"You're not," I attempted once more to hand Chloe to my sister. "Watch her head- There." Before she knew it, Serah held her first niece.

My sister gave the child a bright and warm smile. "Hey Chloe, I'm your aunt Serah." Her tone of voice changed to a goofier one. "Oh, I'm gonna' spoil you so much!" We both chuckled as Serah sat at the edge of the bed.

Chloe began to whine and fuss which led to little cries. Serah shot me a worried look, "I think I woke her..." She attempted to hand the child back to me but instead I leaned close to the baby and whispered, "Don't cry my darling." The gentle kiss I gave Chloe almost instantly made her stop crying. She looked up at Serah and I, with big blue eyes, as blue as the sky.

"You know Claire," Serah said. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you acquired some sort of superpower that stops babies from crying."

"I probably did." Another soft kiss was given to Chloe.

"Oh sis, take Chloe I have to do something!" The baby was immediately given to me before Serah stood up and pulled her cellular phone out from her pocket. "I want to take a few pictures to show the others at home." Serah pointed the face of the phone's camera at Chloe and I. "Say cheese!"

I played along and grinned, "Cheese." The noise on her phone indicated that a picture was taken. "So tell me, where are Snow and Hope?"

Serah continued to take pictures of me and the baby. "Snow? He drove Hope back to our house." She stopped clicking the camera icon on her phone. "Hope looked pretty bad; he had a concussion and a broken hand."

"Poor Hope..." I said. "I should apologize to him when we go home." A slight tug of my hair broke my attention from Serah. I glanced down at Chloe who held the tips of my hair in her plump little fingers.

"Aw- That's so cute!" Serah squealed, taking pictures once more.

"...So how come Snow didn't come back?"

"Snow and Gadot have to move some things."

"Move things?" I asked. "What things?"

"You know, the crib, changing table, rocking chair..." She replied fiddling with her phone. "Those things."

"Why?"

"They have to bring them to your house, the last time I remembered you didn't have those things there."

"I don't even have room for it, where would they put all of those things?" I asked.

"They'll figure it out."

I sighed, "Serah..."

A noise came from her phone, "Oh- Lebreau messaged me about the pictures!"

"What did she say?"

Serah glanced at her phone for a second, "She says, _Tell Light Congrats and that I just won ten bucks from Maqui and Yuj._"

"They placed a bet?" I asked.

Serah giggled, "Yeah Maqui and Yuj both thought you were having a boy and Lebreau obviously thought a girl."

"What else did you all bet on?"

"We all bet on the gender thing." She replied.

"You're all weird."

Serah giggled again, "Then I'm weird and five bucks richer." We both laughed.

Chloe began to fuss as the rising rays of the sun shined in her eyes. I covered her face from the bright light as Serah rushed over to the window and closed the blinds. "There," She looked to me. "So, do you want breakfast?"

"No, thank you."

"Are you sure?" She asked. "I don't mind getting it."

"I'm sure."

"Can I get for myself then?" Serah asked with her hands over her stomach, possibly preventing the occurring sound of grumbles.

"Yeah," I said stroking Chloe's cheek as she was nodding off to sleep. "Just don't get lost alright?"

"Tsk- I'm _not_." She headed for the door. "I'll be back, bye Chloe!" She waved to the baby as if she was paying any attention.

The infant in my arms looked up to me with tired eyes, her plump little fingers loosely grasping my hair. Her attempts to stay awake seemed to be failing. "Just go to sleep baby." I yawned. "I'll be here when you awaken..." My lips lightly pressed against her forehead. "Go to sleep..." I whimpered feeling sleepy myself.

I couldn't fall asleep with Chloe still in my arms, and then I remembered the mobile crib she came in with. The child made little noises as I stood from the bed and placed her in the crib a few feet away. I went back to the bed having the feeling Chloe could sleep without a distraction, but as soon as I sat down she began to cry again. My legs sprung me upward and back to the screaming infant.

"Chloe, don't cry..." I moved the crib closer to the bed and sat back down. My hand gently caressed her belly; it seemed to ease her of her hysterics. "You're a little faker; you just want my attention, don't you?" My head rested on my arm that laid on the edge of the crib. Chloe's eyes began to dim but she still tried to stay awake.

"You know, when your aunt Serah was younger, our mother would sing to her when she couldn't sleep." The memory was fresh in my head. "Nobody could sing as good as your grandmother, I've tried a few times but that's our _little secret._" With the lyrics to my mother's song drifting through my mind I couldn't help it when the words escaped my throat.

"_Golden slumber kiss your eyes, smiles await you when you rise, sleep pretty baby do not cry and I will sing you a lullaby..._" I noticed the baby's eyes beginning to close but she was still awake. "_Care is heavy, therefore sleep while I o'er you watch do keep; sleep pretty darling do not cry and I will sing you a lullaby._" The soft sound of sleep was heard from the child, perhaps now I could finally sleep... Until she wakes up again that is.

* * *

_****A/N:**_

Don't forget to review and follow the story!


	15. Fragment 14

_**I begin my life anew**_

_**Chapter 14**_

* * *

"I'm glad it's not snowing today." I said putting Chloe in little footie pajamas. "I wouldn't want you to catch a cold." The baby looked up at me with her big blue eyes sucking on her pacifier. "You're so pretty."

Serah entered the room. "Sis, are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, I just need to put my jacket on."

Serah walked further into the room. "How's little Chloe?"

I smiled. "She's fine."

"That's good." She paused for a while. "Are you sure you don't want to stay, just a little while longer?"

I turned my head to Serah. "I don't plan on it, why do you ask?"

"Maybe in case... 'He' happens to show up?"

All of a sudden my blissful mood turned into a more foul one. "What brought you to ask me a question like that?" My voice was ridden with annoyance.

"Oh- We don't have to, I'm just asking!" Serah quickly became uneased by my tone. "You know... He is the father after all."

"Like I could give a _rat's ass_ if he was or not..." I turned my attention to Chloe. "You didn't hear mommy say that."

"Claire, maybe he has a change of heart now-"

"No he hasn't, I believed it once and that got me to where I am today." My body turned towards the bed's edge, I stood up and grabbed my coat from the chair that was my company when nobody was around. "Caius will never change and that's why I don't want him to meet Chloe, he doesn't deserve to see her."

"Oh... Alright then." Serah bit her lip, shying away from my response. "Do you want me to put Chloe in the car seat?"

"Yes please."

With a bright smile, Serah walked to the bed. "It's time to get you ready to go home baby." She picked the infant up from the bed and placed her in the cradle shaped seat that sat on the chair.

"Don't forget to put the blanket on her." I said.

"I won't."

"Don't forget her hat either." I added.

Serah smiled. "I'm not gonna' forget!" She buckled the belt on the baby's seat. "Mommy's crazy isn't she?" She asked Chloe in her 'baby voice.'

My arms crossed. "I'm not crazy, I'm just protective."

"A little over protective."

"I'm a mother now, what do you expect?"

"I don't know," She said placing the baby blanket on Chloe and tucking it in at her sides. "I guess I didn't expect you to be so protective."

"Well you should've known by now that every mother is protective to some extent."

"Yeah, perhaps I should have." She proceeded to put the little white hat on Chloe's head. "We should get going; we wouldn't want to keep Snow waiting outside."

"Why not?" I asked slipping my arms through the coat sleeves. "It's not like he'll leave."

"True."

"I'm ready to go anyway." I grabbed the handle part of the baby's seat and held it by my side. "Let's go."

Leaving the entrance of the hospital, we noticed Snow's car parked right out front. It was not hard to spot, especially since he was honking the horn at us. "Hey, glad you guys could show up!"

"Snow, quit honking that horn!" Serah scolded, "You'll frighten the baby!"

The man paused for a moment. "Oh, my bad." He smiled cheerfully.

"Well if you did make her cry, you'd be the one to calm her down." I said trying to buckle in the baby's seat. "...And trust me, she's not easy to calm down."

Serah sat in the front passenger seat. "Yeah, it seems only Claire has the power to calm down such a loud little beast." She let out a chuckle.

"_Yeesh_, I wouldn't wanna' be caught in that." Snow said turning towards the back seat. "Ready?"

"No." I said getting frustrated at the belt buckles. "How the heck are you supposed to do this?"

The two turned to me with surprise written on their faces. "_Heck_?" Snow repeated. "Since when do you say heck?"

"Since I became a mother Snow, I'm sure you'll act the same when you have children of your own." The seat belt began reaching my boiling point. I sighed. "I have no idea how to do this, it's near impossible."

Serah exited the car and came to my side. "It's impossible because you have the seat facing the wrong way; you're supposed to make it face the back window." She corrected my mistake by turning the seat the opposite direction and then buckling the seat in. "There ya' go." She returned to the front seat of the car.

"Get in Light, its cold outside." Said Snow who started the car's engine.

The window seat wasn't so bad, even if the baby's seat had me pushed up against the door. Chloe let out little squeaks as the door closed, her face scrunched up with little fists against her red cheeks. My hand pulled one of her little fists away, her hand was ice cold compared to mine. I pulled both of her hands to my face and lightly breathed on them till they felt warm. "_Is that better?"_ I whispered. "_Your hands are warm now_." The baby just looked at me with eyes of blue, her hands unraveling from a fist and lightly grasping onto the tips of my thumbs.

I felt the tears begin to fill up the corners of my eyes; just now I had begun to finally take in the fact that Chloe was mine. My own creation, my most _beautiful_ creation, she was a part of me in every way and I couldn't help but have such an overwhelming love for her, it seemed with this child all of my worries didn't exist.

For the rest of the trip, I just held onto Chloe's hands. It seemed it was impossible to let them go but before I knew it we were pulling up to Serah's home.

"Claire, do you want to wait in the car while we get your things?" Serah asked peaking over the head of her seat.

"No, I want to see Hope if he's still here."

"He should still be here," She said exiting the car to open up my door.

I unbuckled Chloe from her seat and carefully cradled her in my arms. She whined being moved from the warmth of her seat, she calmed down after she realized who was holding her. Serah and I walked into the house to escape from the cold, when we entered the house though; we were surrounded by Maqui and Yuj who seemed excited to see the baby. It wasn't until Lebreau pulled them away that Serah and I got some breathing room.

"Welcome back Light," Lebreau said hauling the boys away. "How was everything over there?"

"It was painful for the most part."

"Things weren't so peachy keen over here either." She looked to us. "Those two have been like giddy little horses ever since you left; they're a pain, I swear..."

"Sorry they gave you such a hard time."

"It's alright; I'm use to it by now."

I looked to the bedroom to see someone lying on Snow's bed, "Is Hope still here?" I asked.

"Yeah, he's in there." Lebreau pointed to the bedroom.

"_Just as I thought_." I muttered proceeding to my sister's room. It seemed Hope didn't notice me as I entered; his hand was encased in a cast and his forehead was wrapped tightly in bandages. I felt a pity for him.

"Hope," I called lightly, hoping he would wake up.

"Hm...?" He stirred. "Light, is that you?"

"It is," I replied nearing the edge of the bed. "Are you alright?"

The boy took a minute or two to sit up. "I'm fine," He placed his unbandaged hand on his head. "It's just a little headache."

I sat down beside him. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay; it's not your fault."

"I broke your hand though..."

Hope smiled, "Don't worry about it; my hand doesn't even hurt as much anymore." He looked in my arms to see the little child that was half asleep. "Oh, look at this cutie." He said.

"Her name is Chloe." I said smiling.

"Chloe," He placed his hand on her head. "She's beautiful."

"Do you want to hold her?" I asked suddenly.

"A-are you sure I can?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, I owe you that much..." I said stroking the baby's cheek. "Especially for what you've done for us."

Hope's face blushed light red, "It was nothing, really." His smile grew wider. "So can I hold her?"

"Gladly." Placing the baby in Hope's arms was difficult since he was unable to use his right hand to cradle her, so Chloe just laid on his lap with her head resting in his left arm. Chloe whined being moved again but calmed down after fixating her sight on me, she rested her head on Hope and just stared at us as we stared back smiling at her.

As I was looking at her, I felt a disturbance. Curious, I looked up. Hope was looking at me. His eyes widened as soon as I caught him staring back and immediately shifted his gaze towards Chloe. He looked flustered. He slowly lifts his head to look at me. There were so many emotions running through his eyes, his beautiful green eyes. Why have I never noticed them before?

I lifted my hand to his face and lightly brushed my fingers against his cheek. And for a moment, I forgotten all that was around me... Around him... Around us. I had lost so much touch with reality that I didn't realize we were slowly leaning towards each other. It wasn't until our lips met did time finally stand still.

Not a single strand of thought lingered in my mind; this affection we shared made my body lose all of its feeling. The fast paced rhythm of my heart was all that could be felt; it was similar to the feeling from when I first held Chloe in my arms and honestly it made me overjoyed.

"Light..." I heard him whimper. I ignored him, keeping our lips locked. Hope began to pull away but I just couldn't let him. "Lightning..." I held his head with my hands, keeping his lips pressed against mine, it held for a while until he finally broke away. Hope stared back at me taking a few labored breaths, his face was lightly blushed. I was unaware of why he broke away but as I slowly drifted back into reality, shrill cries echoed through my ear drums.

My heart jumped at the realization of the crying, "Oh, my baby." I took Chloe from Hope's arm and tried to calm her of her hysterics but it seemed pointless. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the unneatened plush feathers of the chocobo doll Hope gifted me a few days prior.

"_Hey kiddo_," Hope said in a voice that was similar to Serah's 'baby voice.' _"Don't cry now, crying isn't good_." I watched as Hope caught the baby's attention with the doll. "_Chocobos have a way to make little ones stop crying, chocobo kisses!_" With that, Hope lightly tapped the chocobo's plush beak on Chloe's cheeks making _kissy_ noises until her tears were no more. I watched, amazed that someone other than me, managed to stop her from crying.

"How did you do that?"

"To be honest, I didn't even think it was going to work." He said. "I gave it a shot."

"Well..." I paused looking down at Chloe, who stared back up at me. "You shot good."

Hope faced forward, smiling a bit. "Thanks." He responded almost timidly.

At that moment, an awkward vibe connected between us. It was clear neither of us were going to keep up the conversation. Without anything further, I stood up and headed to the door.

"Say Light," Hope said just as I was about to exit the room. I turned my head to him as he spoke, "How does it feel being a mother?"

I smiled at him. "It feels good..." I looked down at Chloe. "It feels really good."

The man smiled back. "That's great." He sprung up and held the chocobo doll out to me. "Don't forget this."

I held my hand over the doll and looked at him. "Don't forget to visit," I took hold of the plush. "You are going to visit, right?"

"Oh, of course!"

"Good."

* * *

Snow drove me home a little later in the afternoon. I sat in the front of the car with him as we drove back towards Baruch. Snow didn't hesitate to start up a conversation, as usual.

"So Light," He didn't take his sight off of the icy road. "I'm curious, where did you come up with the name _Chloe_?"

"I don't know, it just came to me."

"I thought maybe you knew someone named Chloe in the past or something, and they meant a lot to you." He made a face after I didn't respond right away. "I don't know, maybe I'm just rambling on."

I looked to him, "I feel as if there's something on your mind, that perhaps you feel uncomfortable to say directly so you're just rambling."

"What?" His voice became high pitched. "There's nothing on my mind that's making me uncomfortable."

I grinned leaning back in my seat, "Are you sure?" I crossed my arms. "You seem tense."

"I mean there's nothing big going on, it's just a little stress..."

"What are you stressed out about?"

"Well, I've been through a lot in the past few weeks because Serah wanted to make your stay at our house pleasurable." He sighed. "She works me like a mule sometimes."

"So, when Serah said you _voluntarily_ gave up your bed for me it was really her just telling you what to do?"

"Well no, I volunteered to do that." Snow slowed down the speed of the car. "Serah's been making me go all over the place to make sure you were treated like a queen there, then after the baby was born she told me to take _all_ of the things from the nursery and bring them all to your house."

"She's always been a little bossy," I replied. "I'm surprised she never had a 'wedding planner' job or something of the sorts when we lived back on Cocoon."

"All I know is that when I get home later I'm going into hibernation." He leaned back in his seat. "I'm exhausted from driving around everywhere."

"I bet."

The rest of the way back to Baruch, Snow had few words to say; it seemed to be for the best if he kept his focus on the road. My eyes strayed from the icy roads in front of us and focused on the carpet of white flakes that piled up in the fields along side the car. The scenery seemed like that of an old cartoon, it just kept repeating itself over and over... It made my head ache. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the small bumps in the road but the constant fussing of the child in the backseat made it difficult to rest. Finally I turned to the child, whose small white hat was the only thing that was visible to me. I extended my arm back to the baby to try and comfort her but it was near impossible to reach.

"Snow, stop the car." I said suddenly.

Snow turned a glance, "Why?"

"Just do it."

With that he pulled the car over to the side of the road, when it stopped I jumped out and rushed to the backseat to try and escape the cold.

"Alright, you can drive again." I patted the snow flakes from my coat.

"Can't stay away from her can you?"

I shot him a glance with a grin added in, Snow turned his head at my response and continued driving on the icy road. My eyes turned to Chloe, who scrunched up her face and tightened her little fists at the harshness of the cold. Just like before, I held her little hands and warmed them, pressing my lips over her fingers after every few breaths. The baby opened her eyelids slightly, exposing her crystal blue eyes behind tiny eyelashes.

"Don't worry," I whispered. "We'll be home soon."

"You know Light, you don't have to whisper." Snow said.

"Whisper?"

"I hear you talking to the baby back there," He kept his head forward. "It's cute."

"_Cute_?" I asked getting a bit self-consious. "How is it _cute_?"

I could see him smiling in the rear view mirror, "Well you're talking to a baby it's kind of cute."

"Tch, _cute._.." My eyes regained focus back on Chloe, who had her head tilted to the side whilst sleeping soundly. I sighed leaning back in my seat, taking a glance at the window seeing we were still far from home. I fixated my sight on the sleeping child next to me and for a while I just stared at her, holding onto her hand.

"_What a sweet child._.." I thought feeling a sleeping spell being cast over me, the weight of my eyelids becoming heavier as each second passed until it finally succumbed me.

* * *

When I awoke from my unexpected sleep, it seemed much too difficult to try and sit up... I was so comfortable. My eyes gave a quick search around and I came to realize I was no longer in the backseat of Snow's car. Instead, I was in my bedroom, lying in my bed under the heavy comforter. For a few moments I laid under the blanket wondering how I got there, until I decided to investigate. Although it pained me to leave the comfort of my bed, my curiosity got the better of me.

As I sat up, I rubbed my eyes to completely rid myself of any lingering essence of fatigue. My head turned to the side and my eyes caught sight of the luminescent white of a crib that stood opposite of my bed. My eyes began to explore beyond the crib, standing beside it was a yellow changing table and the glossy wood of a rocking chair that structured itself next to the window... I found it difficult to grasp the fact that the baby furniture was there, in _my_ bedroom.

My legs felt weakened as I rose from the bed, it took a moment for me to gain my balance. I walked over to the white crib and saw Chloe curled up and sleeping inside. Watching her sleep so peacefully made me smile; I never knew children at this age could be so quiet. I always remembered Serah being loud as a newborn so this shocked me at most.

"I hope you'll always be this way." My fingers reached in by her face and gently brushed against the surface of her right cheek which brought out a little noise from the infant. I jerked my hand back, hoping she wouldn't awaken... Thankfully she didn't.

I sighed in relief moving slowly away from the crib and to the door. I tried to make as little noise as possible while exiting and eventually succeeded. My head turned back to the crib to make sure I didn't disturb the child before walking to the kitchen.

My eyes searched for any other sign of life in the house, I didn't want to call out in fear of waking Chloe, but it seemed nobody else was present. As I wandered into the living room, I noticed a small pot on the coffee table containing an odd looking plant. Curious, I walked over and realized a card strung up by its stem. It was a 'greeting' type card, with the words 'Congratulations on your new youth' with a cartoon baby on the front. I picked the pot up and opened the attached card. It wrote:

_Dear Ms. Farron,_

_My apologies for not introducing myself earlier; I live just up the road, perhaps a few houses after yours. I heard you celebrate a holiday called 'Christmas' and it involves dressing up a 'pine tree'. I'm not sure what a pine tree is or if any exist on Fundonia, so instead of a pine tree I sent a Poppila sprout. Right now it's in an infant stage, over time though it will grow into a beautiful plant I don't think you've seen before, trust me it's a very presentable plant. _

_Also, you can call me if you ever need help with your little one._

There were numbers underneath, but it didn't look like there were enough to make out a full phone number.

_Sincerely, Ellenior Zhuk_

I closed the card and examined the plant... It looked rather plain and nothing worth mentioning. I set it back down on the table before returning back to where I first started... By the bedroom.

Staring back on the small house, I realized how quiet it was... How had the child not made a single cry or at least the slightest sound since I had left her in the bedroom? Curious, I poked my head in my bedroom and listened for Chloe to make any sort of sound. The only sound heard from her was soft breathing.

"_As quiet as a mouse_." I whispered re-entering the room and stopping by the crib. For a while I just stared at Chloe, astonished by her beauty. Although, when I looked away from her for a moment I felt an emptiness sinking in my chest... What was the reason to this feeling? I wasn't sure, but it just shot at me all so suddenly. Looking back on the small child, the empty feeling seemed to connect with my feeling for the child and a thought came to me.

"Perhaps she needs more than me in her life?" The thought didn't seem true to me, but it was about right. "She needs... A father figure?" That was when my mind burst with a feeling of certainty. That was what she would need, another parental guardian to watch over her if Heaven forbid... I could not be there anymore. But was I ready to start a relationship again just for the sake of this child?


	16. Fragment 15

**Chapter 15**

The rays of a new dawn casted upon the hills of Baruch. The blankets of snow from days past were up lifted and bloomed into a fine dust caused from the breath that was exhaled from the clearer sky. The sun's gaze over the hills crept along the undisturbed sheets of compacted snowflakes and along the icy dirt road that lead to the ancient city just at its end. It seemed though, one stray ray of light managed to detach from its whole and redirect itself in the pane of my window. The ray hit the lines of my eyes, on pinpoint. I moaned from the rude awakening, turning away from the window's gaze.

I kept my eyes open slightly glancing at the door of my bedroom, knowing there would be no way for me to fall back to sleep... Unfortunately. The past few weeks were nothing more than a nightmare for me, with the constant late night feedings and diaper changes I wasn't able to get much sleep, it made me want to cry as much as the infant in the crib across from my bed.

For a large portion of the morning I just laid in bed, barely making any sudden movement in fear that Chloe might wake up. How any woman could deal with such a loud little being and still keep their sanity was beyond me, I could barely hold my own.

Sometime later, I gave the alarm clock a glance.

**11:36 A.M.**

That was when the phone rang and Chloe began to erupt into a screaming fit. I sighed pulling myself to sit at the edge of the bed. Slouching on the edge of the mattress, I couldn't decide whether to answer the phone first or tend to the baby...

"...Alright Chloe, I'm coming." I stood up and walked over to the crib. I looked down at the small child for a moment in a daze before pulling her up from the crib and resting her head on my shoulder. "Don't cry sweetheart, mommy's here." I gave the child little kisses on her cheek while walking over to the phone in the living room.

Once the baby's crying had stopped, I answered the phone.

"Hello?"

The person on the other line didn't answer back or barely made a sound.

"Hello, who is this?" I asked once more but there was still no answer. After my sentence came to a close the person hung up the phone.

"That's strange," I placed the phone back on the receiver then looked at Chloe. "It's probably a wrong number." Her small chubby face pressed against my shoulder, looking back at me with tired eyes. I began walking to the kitchen, keeping the small infant in my arms safe within my grasp as I approached the table that stood on the other end of the room next to the large window that was caked with snow from its exterior. On the table was a small baby seat... I think it was called a baby bouncer, if I remembered correctly.

I placed Chloe in the little infant seat and kissed her lightly on her nearly hairless head before proceeding to the sink. I looked in the drum of the sink to see the coffee pot filled halfway with cold soapy water from the night before when I made myself coffee for the first time in over eight months. I pulled the pot from the sink and emptied it of the soapy water and rinsed it before filling it with warm water for the coffee brewer. I took a glance over at Chloe who sat silently over on the table staring back at me with her beautiful blue eyes.

After the coffee had started to brew, I went into the cabinets and took out a baby bottle and the can of powdered baby formula and fixed the baby her breakfast. Walking over to the table while shaking the contents in the bottle, I noticed Chloe mesmerized by the little movements her hand made, making a little fist then unraveling it, she didn't even notice me standing in front of her with the bottle that always stops her from crying at night.

I looked down at her and smiled. "What's that?" I asked in a voice that mimicked Serah and Hope's childish voices towards the baby. Chloe stopped and looked up at me with wide eyes as if I had caught her doing something sneaky. "A hand? Do you have a hand?" Her little lips formed to make out a little smile... It was such a pretty little smile, I couldn't help myself but smile back at the little infant.

I sat at the table just staring and smiling with her, lightly nabbing her little toes that curled up when I touched them and gently brushing my fingers against her soft, pudgy cheeks which made her grab onto my fingers when I dared to do so.

Not long later, the door bell rang. _"Who'd be out in this weather?"_ I thought to myself as the bell continued to ring. I looked to Chloe who looked panicked at the sound of the bell. "I'll be right back..." I gave a small peck on her forehead before going to the door. "I'm coming!" I shouted to the person who seemed impatient with waiting a few more seconds before I opened the front door.

For a moment, my mind had begun to think of the person who stood on the opposite side of the door. Could it have been Serah, here to check up on me? My neighbor, who I had just begun to know? Pulling the door open, I paused my thoughts as I stared at a man's torso before looking up to see his face... My happy mood didn't seem to stay after seeing who it was who came to pay me a visit.

"Ballad..." I said coldly.

"Farron..." The tall man replied back.

It was Caius... I glared up at into those lilac eyes he had used against me many times over the years. I wasn't going to be seduced by them, not this time. "What do _you_ want?" I asked in a manner most peeved.

Caius looked over my shoulder to notice the whining child sitting at the kitchen table. He pulled his scarf down to his chin so his words weren't muffled by it. "I wish to see my child, if that is acceptable?" His words turned to frost in the air.

I bit my tongue. I wanted to throw it in his face that the child wasn't his, that to call Chloe his own was irrelevant...Although in a way he was right, but I was going to keep my word, after what he had done... Leaving me alone with the responsibility of a child then return with the intent to kill me. If Caius wanted to see Chloe for himself, he would have to throw me into the unseen realm first.

"No it is not," I finally replied. "Now could you _please_ leave?" I began to close the door.

Caius stopped the closing door with his foot and pushed it open lightly. "I would like to see it, may I please come in?"

"I don't want you in my home!" I tried to close the door again, only for it to be stopped by his foot once more. "Dammit, Caius!" I shouted. Behind me I began to hear Chloe cry which only made me want to get rid of Caius faster but his foot was still stuck in the doorway.

"Lightning, I just want to see it!" He yelled back.

By now my anger had reached its boiling point, I swung open the door and kicked his leg out back into the cold. "You won't ever see her! Now leave me alone!" That's when I slammed the door shut and stood there trying to collect my cool.

My head turned back to the table to see Chloe crying her little eyes out... I walked back over to her and gently caressed her belly. "...Don't cry Chloe." I wiped the tears from her rosy cheeks as she gradually ceased her crying. Chloe looked up at me with sad eyes that would make the whole world as sad as she was, but I smiled at her and it seemed almost instantly that her big tears and loud screams were something that never existed.

"Are you hungry?" I asked her. "Does your belly make grumbles?" The baby didn't respond back verbally of course, she only kicked her feet softly and stared down my hand as it reached for her bottle next to the little seat she lied in. I popped off the cap and placed the bottle on her tiny lips, urging her to drink from it. She complied and began to drain the bottle of its content while looking up at me with her big blue eyes. I sat down and continued the hold the bottle for her, she continued to stare at me as I did to her... But something caught my eye at the window. I looked up and standing on the dirt road cloaked in ice was a man who gazed at me from afar. Small fumes of frost escaped the warmth of his scarf, his arms crossed tightly like a knot on a rope and his lilac eyes just gazing back... Almost in a trance. I glared back, hoping he would turn head and continue on where ever he was heading off to, but he didn't shift his gaze; that's when I stood up and picked Chloe up from the small baby seat before I went over to the window and closed the blinds.

"Idiot." I muttered turning towards the living room. I glanced down at Chloe who whined for the return of her bottle. I retrieved her bottle from the side of the baby seat and began to walk to the living room.

As I walked, a cold feeling came to my feet. I looked down and noticed the floor by the door was all wet from the snow after my little feud with Caius. "Damn it..." The bottom of my socks were soaked, they seemed worthless to me at that moment. I walked into the living room and placed Chloe in the middle of the couch sitting upward.

"Don't worry, I'll be right back." I assured her before rushing to the bathroom to retrieve towels.

Quickly, I snatched a few used towels from the bathroom floor and went to the puddle by the door which by now was starting to seep into the carpet of the living room. I placed the towels over the puddle and pressed them using my foot. "I really need to get a doormat."

Not far behind me, I heard little gurgles and squeals over by the couch. I turned to see Chloe, who was lying on her side upon the couch cushions. I walked over, picked the baby bottle from the coffee table and picked Chloe up in my arms before sitting down. I cross my legs and settled Chloe onto my lap, realizing my socks were still cold and wet from the melted snow. My hands reached for my dampened socks and removed them from my feet which were instantly chilled by the cooler air outside their now ruined cover. Then, once more, I held the bottle to Chloe and she continued to suckle the contents away. My, how I loved her; every little thing she did made my love for her grow, all she had to do was glance over at me and a smile would instantly appear on my face. Oh, my Chloe, I can't imagine my life without you… I realized such a pain sooner than I expected, an agony like no other.

It was early in the evening, I had just finished up dinner; exhausted as I was from twenty-four hour baby care, I decided to rest on the couch for a while before Chloe's next feeding. Little did I realize the threat that awaited me… My exhaustion took me like seduction, soon I had the slumber I yearned for. The hours flew by without a care in my mind; not a single sound could've stirred me from this sleep, how blissful it was. I awoke some time later in the evening from an icy chill that trickled up my spine, it took me a few minutes before leisurely standing to my feet to locate the source of the cold. Standing in the bedroom doorway I noticed the window half open, sluggishly my feet brought me to the window and thus, closed it. I had realized Chloe's profound silence and checked on her, but she wasn't there. A wave of panic rushed over me, I immediately began screaming and look all over for her. That's when it began to click, the open window, Chloe missing, Caius' visit… I ran to the closet and threw my jacket over my shoulders and stormed out of the house with bare feet to search for the scum who took my baby.

I was screaming out their names for hours, tears running down my cheeks… I just wanted her back, I didn't care about Caius after so long, all I wanted Chloe back in my arms. Neighbors' porch lights going on as my calls progressed, they must've thought I was crazy screaming like I did so late at night, I couldn't care much for their opinions. Making a third round back to the house I noticed the window was open to the bedroom again, I ran over as fast as I could only to see Caius in my room holding Chloe in his arms.

"You…" I growled. "You scum!" The tall man jerked his head towards me and widened his eyes at my presence.

I crawled in through the window and snatched Chloe away from Caius, that's when I began smacking him and punching him, calling him vulgar names just overall making him pay for his actions. It was a while before he had enough and left the house in scratches and bruises. I stood there heaving heavily in fury, it quickly subsided and I was focused on Chloe, who was crying from my yelling. I sat on the couch calming her, checking her to make sure Caius had not done harm to her, luckily he didn't. Sitting there with the crying child I had begun to think, _this will happen again_. My mind full of possibilities of his next move, was I even safe anymore? He could claim my life if he so desired, what stops him now? I was no longer secure with my mind, let alone my safety… I was moving in with Serah after this.


	17. End to part 1

**Chapter 16**

Lightning was quiet. The room filled with sweet soft nothings that came from the speakers that usually broadcasted soft tunes. It was cold, but Lightning didn't care… Not anymore at least. Across from her was a tall man in a white sweater, his hair was partly gray, his hands shook a little from the cold of the room. He sat in a chair in front of Lightning, who gave a rather blank stare at the man.

"So, Claire," He spoke. "How have you been?"

Lightning responded with her blank stare, what she was staring at nobody knew.

"Claire, can you hear me?"

"I hear you…"

"Can you answer my question?

"No."

"Why not?"

Lightning turned to her side on her chair and curled up in a ball; ignoring the man's question.

"Please Claire, tell me."

"No…"

The man let out a sigh and folded his legs. "I understand you've been writing?" He asks. "What have you been writing about?"

"My daughter." She said coldly.

"Your psychiatrist tells me you're here because of her," He folded his legs while speaking. "Why is that?"

Lightning was silent. The cold shoulder was strong with the man, and he was not having her childish behavior. The man gave a sigh and bounced his leg awaiting her answer, but the rose haired woman's prolonged silence ate away at his patience.

"You know, your sister came to visit you today?"

"She did?"

"Yes, she sitting out there in the hallway."

Lightning sat up and looked to the door, she didn't turn her head to the man across from her. "Can she come in?"

"Surely." The man said before standing; he walked over to the door and called in Serah, who was ever so happy to see her older sister.

"Hey Claire!" Her excitement almost brought life into her eldest sister… Almost. Although it did bring a smile to her face. The youngest Farron greeted her sister with a hug before sitting in the spare chair next to Claire's.

"So, Serah," The man began. "You know of Claire's daughter?"

"Oh, yes, she was lovely." She said. "A little ball of happiness she was."

"Claire refuses to tell me about her, could you maybe give some insight as to what had happened to her?"

Lightning held onto Serah's hand and gripped it tightly. Serah winced feeling such pressure to her hand.

"U-uh, we don't really talk about what happened, it's highly personal."

"Serah, perhaps you don't know, but I've been trying to get Claire to tell me for weeks, she refuses to talk, she doesn't show me her writings or anything!" He said. "I was hoping _you_ could tell me."

Lightning's grip became tighter.

"Please, it's the only way I can help her."

Serah pulled her hand away from her sister's and in return was given a dagger-like glare.

"Fine, I'll tell you…" Serah gave a straight face. "My niece, she… Passed away a few years ago and my sister hasn't been the same since."

"Any indication of how she passed away?"

"None that I know of."

The man looked at Lightning. "I'm very sorry to hear that; child loss is a very heavy weight that effects some of my other patients as well as you, Claire." His sympathy broke no barriers to Lightning.

Lightning began to shake her head lightly. "_Get out…_" She mumbled.

"Excuse me?" Asks the man

"Get out!" She screamed. "Get out, Get out!"

The man sat put. "I cannot leave until our session is over, Claire."

"Don't call me that, I am Lightning!" She bellowed. "I only destroy!"

"Claire, calm down!" Serah cried.

Lightning swung her hand back and slapped her sister across the face. "I want you out too!"

Serah held her cheek, which stung from her sister's hand. "Claire…"

"I want everybody out of my room!" She continued to scream, and couldn't stop screaming.

Lightning had scared the man and Serah from her room, she was once again left alone, it was then she stopped her frantic screaming. She sat there heaving heavily, turning her head to her desk. She rushed over to the desk to the small locked book that laid upon it and snatched it, holding it close to her chest. She then began to cry, she hugged the book tightly and cried. The soft tunes in the room doing nothing to calm her, she only cried louder. It was fair to say by now that Lightning was isolated in a shell, full of anger, denial and sadness. Would this place help Lightning, or deem her untreatable?


End file.
